I say it frequently and feel it far more often than I say it: I want off the ride, or I want to be on a different ride, or I want to build my own ride. Some days, perhaps many, I loath the time period in which we are living. I dread the bubble that,…
Category: Dear Diary
2.42 Miles in the Morning
I leave the apartment under a flat gray sky, low clouds in the distance. The first thing I notice are the rows of cars parked in the fenced, blacktop lot by the school where the children usually play and have gym class. I’m reminded of my in-service days as a teacher and the setting up…
Being Chill – Not the Look I’m Going For
“Jenny’s” dating profile says her weakness is “super smart polymath builder/makers.” I look up polymath to confirm that I know what it means. Ironically, doing so also confirms that I’m probably not what Jenny is looking for. She likes complex cocktails – also not my thing. She has starlink and works remotely for weeks at…
Affordability
At the end of June, my neighbor moved out. Since then, the landlord has had various crews come to deep clean the apartment, paint the place, and make what repairs they needed to make. Last night there was an open house. The email to the tenants in the building said due to the high interest…
Not Everyone Hates The Marina
A recent Netflix movie filmed in San Francisco has a one-liner dig on my neighborhood: “’Everyone hates the Marina,’ Jill’s coworker tells her. ‘The Marina hates itself. It’s basically L.A.’” As with most works of fiction, there’s almost always a kernel of truth behind the sentiments. As a resident of the Marina, I can say…
Shrug: More AI Doomerism
The text began, “Hi Matt, I’m Pressella, a PR consultant at Pathos Communications.” It continued to tell me that an area nonprofit is closing down and in citing one of my previous job tiles said, “you’re a credible front-line voice on donor strategy and capacity , yadda yadda… We work pay on results, open to…
July 4th: The 250th Edition
It’s the 4th of July. This year, both America and San Francisco turn 250. As I’ve been reading in the news, the feelings around the country are mixed. Many would argue that we’re not exactly at our high point as a country or as a democracy. In his typical gaudy style, the president is putting…
Patiently Waiting for Something New
The dating profile looks vaguely familiar. “Victoria” lives in Claremont, California, which, I learn from Google maps (because I’m still illiterate to California’s geography), is a suburb east of LA. She must be in town visiting, probably lived here before which would be why I might have seen the profile before. The LA thing is…
In Which I Go Completely Off the Rails with Speculation
There I was at my computer, feeling a little queasy and about to go for a run to rid myself of nervous energy and quiet my rambling and inquisitive mind. The google prompt on my computer read, “my ex just remarried.” I don’t know this for a fact, but it’s what I’ve been assuming ever…
This Is a Lot of Words, Many of Which I’m OK with
It wasn’t supposed to play out this way. I stayed in last night so that I could go to bed early, wake up early, and be productive: read, write, run, a little bit of work, a little bit of job searching.
Then I looked her up.
They say when you don’t know where to begin, start with a clear and simple statement of fact. Of course…
Poking at the Edges, Looking for My Place
The other day, among the morning’s smattering of thoughts, I was, briefly, trying to come to a better, more clear understanding of what it means to be passionate, what it means to love. I was thinking in broad terms and not so much about romantic love or passion. I was thinking about how when we…
Being More Deliberate: Mornings
I tried to start the morning with greater intention. This meant waking naturally (no alarm) at six, which is a nice departure from the groggier seven, eight, or nine am wake ups after a late night at the bar. This meant making the bed, and opening the blinds. This meant meditating for ten minutes (give…