It’s Monday and I don’t know how to start. Didn’t know how to start. Pre-dawn tired from a fitful night of sleep. At least that’s how today’s poem begins. I tried twice to write it, one version not terribly different from the other. I’ve already read a half-dozen poems and had one and half cups…
Category: Dear Diary
Looking for Community
While listening to a few writers read their poems and personal essays and also talk about where they’re finding the light in these dark times, it occurred to me that… well, I’m not sure how to phrase it – that I don’t have that type of community or those kinds of connections and friendships. It…
Falling Out and Politics
Not long ago I had a falling out with a friend. The falling out had been a while in the making. I think it started in early August when a woman he might have, kinda, sorta liked asked me to walk her home. He felt snubbed and sent some drunk angry texts to me: “Fuck…
Jury Duty: Day Two
I arrived in a more timely fashion for my second day of jury duty – in fact, I was quite a bit early. What had really happened the day before was that when I looked at how long the bus ride took, I was looking at non rush hour times. I adjusted accordingly. I also…
Fall in San Francisco
Paying attention to and living in the city has filled me with delight and fascination these past few days and weeks. Fall in San Francisco has a mix of some of our warmest days alongside fall-like days and there are festivals almost every weekend: Folsom Street (kink and leather), Chinatown’s Autumn Moon festival, Castro Street…
Jury Duty: Day One
The bus took longer than I had expected it to. I got to the courthouse on Bryant Street just in time. There was a line waiting to get through the metal detectors. A line of about 20 or 30 other people who had also gotten there just in time. More were showing up. Belt, cellphone,…
Point of No Return? Feeling Overwhelmed
Every day, I read the news and find another reason (or several) to dislike this administration. Every day, I wonder if democracy can survive until the next election, and I fear that what will be left of our country after four years of this will be unrecognizable. How will things look from the ditch we…
Less than Conventional
I’m warming up to the idea that I live a safely unconventional life. I maintain a reasonable level of decorum and responsibility, I practice kindness, I almost always have my wits about me, but I’m learning to dance at the edges of… I’m not quite sure how to describe the spaces where I’m dancing. When…
Meditation on Autumn
In the middle of a reminiscence that felt a little like a conjuring, I wanted to get outside. I wanted to walk to that part of town where the manicured lawns and red brick buildings look like an east coast college campus. I wanted to be near trees and the earthy smells of late September….
I Am Right Here
Sometime back in 2019 or 2020, I became acquainted with a woman living in Nashville, TN. We met on a dating app and over the course of a week or two had a few very deep conversations. We both wrote and we were both interested in psychology/spirituality – though she was professionally trained in psychology….
Content, Yet Wanting More
Saturday It’s mid morning and I have little to show for it. Worse yet, I don’t have a plan for the day. Still tired from a late night (concert followed by the bar), I woke a little before 8am to the sound of the foghorn. After breakfast, I moved to the sofa where I’ve been…
Naming Things on a Tuesday Morning
The morning sun touches everything in my apartment. I can tell the angles are different than they were a month or two ago. The autumn light makes me wish I were a better student of the seasons. Intuitively, I know and feel and sense the changes, but I want something more precise than intuition. The…