It’s the 4th of July. This year, both America and San Francisco turn 250. As I’ve been reading in the news, the feelings around the country are mixed. Many would argue that we’re not exactly at our high point as a country or as a democracy. In his typical gaudy style, the president is putting…
Patiently Waiting for Something New
The dating profile looks vaguely familiar. “Victoria” lives in Claremont, California, which, I learn from Google maps (because I’m still illiterate to California’s geography), is a suburb east of LA. She must be in town visiting, probably lived here before which would be why I might have seen the profile before. The LA thing is…
In Which I Go Completely Off the Rails with Speculation
There I was at my computer, feeling a little queasy and about to go for a run to rid myself of nervous energy and quiet my rambling and inquisitive mind. The google prompt on my computer read, “my ex just remarried.” I don’t know this for a fact, but it’s what I’ve been assuming ever…
This Is a Lot of Words, Many of Which I’m OK with
It wasn’t supposed to play out this way. I stayed in last night so that I could go to bed early, wake up early, and be productive: read, write, run, a little bit of work, a little bit of job searching.
Then I looked her up.
They say when you don’t know where to begin, start with a clear and simple statement of fact. Of course…
Poking at the Edges, Looking for My Place
The other day, among the morning’s smattering of thoughts, I was, briefly, trying to come to a better, more clear understanding of what it means to be passionate, what it means to love. I was thinking in broad terms and not so much about romantic love or passion. I was thinking about how when we…
Used To Be So Much Better
In late February / early March of 2023, I spent a week visiting San Francisco to see if I’d want to live here. I had been looking to move to the West Coast for a few years, but never seemed to be able to line things up properly (job, finances, etc.). For a lot of…
Being More Deliberate: Mornings
I tried to start the morning with greater intention. This meant waking naturally (no alarm) at six, which is a nice departure from the groggier seven, eight, or nine am wake ups after a late night at the bar. This meant making the bed, and opening the blinds. This meant meditating for ten minutes (give…
These Times Are Exhausting
Writing, for me, is a way to work out problems. It’s a way to unpuzzle the world that feels knotted in my mind. To worry something is to fiddle with it. Writing lets me fiddle. On my more restless days – days when the accumulation of online news makes the world seem as though it’s…
Mawwaige: The Impressive Clergyman
A little over a week ago, I married my stepdaughter. One of my friends in a group text said I had to phrase it that way when I talked about the wedding because it’d be funny. More accurately, on a beautifully clear day in rural Ohio, I had the honor of officiating my stepdaughter’s wedding….
Long and Mindless Walks
Among the many pleasures for which I am grateful are my long, mindless walks. I’ll often have a destination in mind, but no purpose: a bench by the water, a bookstore, a bar, or just a loop around the neighborhood. I took such a walk this morning. I was up early. I read. I wrote….
A Bookmark
While reading a book of poems by Lucille Clifton, I notice that the bookmark I’m using, water-warped with small tears along the edges, is from Borders.com. I search my memory for the last time I was in a Borders store. I try to remember its physical location – strip mall across the street from the…
Meditation on the Morning Routine
Nearly every morning after breakfast, I sit on my sofa and read. The sun shines blindingly through a large window facing east. It creeps from the white tufted ottoman / storage bench where I prop my feet, inches up my legs, and eventually settles on my hands, arms, torso, and face. Here, I drink my…