The best Bolognese I’ve had was at an Italian restaurant facing River Road near Trenton, NJ. I think it’s still there but maybe under new management. It’s a stand-alone building next to an auto repair shop. It is dark inside the way Italian restaurants can be dark inside. The bar is black and shiny, the…
Category: Relationships
Thoughts and Readings on Being in a Healthy Relationship
The Dog, Again
Yesterday, I wrote about the dog and the walks we have. Given that we live together, it’s a topic from time to time. We take two walks a day – every day. Quite often, they’re short walks because it’s cold and windy here for five or six months of the year. Because the roads were…
Be the Person, Blah Blah Blah
Yesterday, I ended my post about belief systems with some statements about the world being a more wondrous place when it’s shared with good company. I didn’t say it that succinctly, but it was part of what I was aiming for. That sentiment runs slightly counter to the type of self-reliance I’ve been trying to…
Green Flags and World Beliefs
The prompt on the dating app reads, “I’ll fall for you if…” One answer I recently came across said, “You’re a gentleman who does that thing where you walk on the street side of the sidewalk …” Admittedly, this is not something I do or consciously put into practice. This isn’t the first time, I’ve…
Unqualified
Sometimes I think I’m not really qualified for this job,the job of my life, I mean. “Homework” by Tony Hoagland Today, I felt wholly unqualified for life. I bounced between trying to write poetry, trying to write a post about trauma, processing the potential challenges of moving (tied to the post about trauma), reading poetry,…
Conflict and Therapy
Thursday nights were therapy nights. We did this every week or every other week for a few months. Trying to recall our routine, I think it must have been every other week, but then something tells me that we had weekly homework or that we would be asked “how was your week.” The frequency only…
Regrets: We Have but One Life
A poetry account I follow on Twitter posts/hosts a “poetry thread” almost every day. The poet picks a broad topic and shares a poem that relates to or exemplifies the topic/sentiment. Other people share poems that also relate. I usually read the original post and poem and maybe one other one, but seldom dive into…
To One Day Have a Shared Language
I subscribe to a daily poem email list. I don’t read them every day. Instead, every week or two, I’ll read a bunch of them in one sitting. I did that this morning. In the bio for one of the poets, he wrote about how he loves when he gets lost in his writing. He’ll…
Speculation and Dithering: An Addendum
As soon as I hit publish on my recent post about dithering, I second-guessed how such a post would be interpreted and/or received. This happens a lot when I have concerns about who might read it or what they might think. It happens when I talk about any subject over which I hold multiple and…
Speculative Questions and Dithering Answers
The other day I wrote a long and rambling mess of a post about indifference as a form of accepting uncertainty (Adjusting the Throttle of Indifference). Or at least that’s what I was trying to write about. I was also trying to touch on what it’s like to try to live without expectations and how…
Adjusting the Throttle of Indifference
Indifference…. we sometimes deploy it as a defense mechanism. We sometimes use it as a cudgel. Because it can be used in these ways, it seems important to be able to distinguish between real indifference and manufactured indifference. As a defense mechanism, feigned indifference – saying one doesn’t care – means they can’t be disappointed,…
Love Lessons from the Gottmans
It’s cuffing season – “that magical time of year during the colder, winter months when people are more compelled to start relationships. It usually runs from late fall, through winter and up until the warmer days of spring and early summer.” Oddly, almost all of my significant relationships started in the frolicking days of summer….