It’s morning and I’m scrolling: news, dating profiles, news, and more dating profiles. The news is garbage – it often is. The dating profiles are either uninspiring or I’m too picky: lives too far away, kids are too young, mismatched life experiences and expectations, too ambitious, wears too many turquoise hats, too many pictures of…
Category: Relationships
Thoughts and Readings on Being in a Healthy Relationship
Uggh, Dating
I went on a date a few weeks ago. It was probably the first date I’ve gone on in over a year. It wasn’t awful, but we knew there wouldn’t be a second one. Towards the end of the night, she invited a friend to meet up with us. At one point, while my date…
Breakfast Conversations
Every once in a while, the fishhook of longing will catch me by surprise and yank me gasping towards the surface of some distant memory. The feeling is a little hard to describe. It’s a mix between envisioning some version of the future that I’d like to see come to pass and remembering some version…
Grumpiness, That’s What I Bring to the Table
Some days, I’m just grumpy, at odds with the world, and probably heading in the wrong direction. Wednesday was one of those days. I was fine earlier in the day, but then two things happened that sent my grump-ometer into the danger zone. First, I read an article in The Guardian about how single women…
Let It Be Known…
At the corner of Fillmore and Pixley, just a few blocks from my apartment and along the route of my evening walks, is a building that was recently painted bright red with white lettering advertising a new dating app call Known. In the traditional click-bait style of tech-based hype and obfuscation, the building converted to…
Valentine’s Day. Again.
Today is Valentine’s Day, again. My friends who work in the restaurant industry are working longer hours today – special dishes and menus, overbooked reservations, and covering shifts for people who want to celebrate. Yesterday, as I walked to the grocery store to get a bottle of wine to go with my solo dinner, I…
These Last Few Mornings…
Monday morning. After a fitful night of sleep in which I dreamed about being given two abandoned, tamed, and not yet fully grown lions to care for and trying to get someone from animal control to help… a night in which I woke in a tangle of sheets and quilt, I had a quick breakfast…
Falling Out and Politics
Not long ago I had a falling out with a friend. The falling out had been a while in the making. I think it started in early August when a woman he might have, kinda, sorta liked asked me to walk her home. He felt snubbed and sent some drunk angry texts to me: “Fuck…
Things Were Easier Then and I Was More Open
I have a lot of… regrets isn’t quite the word I’m looking for, but it’ll have to do… a lot of regrets about the fact that my last big relationship didn’t work out – which, jeez, was almost six years ago (or as one online calculator tells me 2,156 days, but who’s counting). It’s not…
Content, Yet Wanting More
Saturday It’s mid morning and I have little to show for it. Worse yet, I don’t have a plan for the day. Still tired from a late night (concert followed by the bar), I woke a little before 8am to the sound of the foghorn. After breakfast, I moved to the sofa where I’ve been…
What I’ve Known Influences What I Want
It was while reading a poem that begins with drinking white wine from jade cups in Szechuan China that I tried to imagine different lives, more exotic lives, lives I haven’t lived, lives I may never live. I started to write my own version of it – late-night dinner parties with interesting friends; stars and…
Not Quite Under the Bridge
On my Saturday walk home from the food pantry where I do some work, I made the spur of the moment decision to turn right off of Haight St. and climb the steep hill into Buena Vista Park. Despite having walked past the park dozens of times, I had never ventured in. Not surprisingly, with…