“Just because I love it, doesn’t mean it’s going to work.” This was the reminder I wrote for myself one Saturday as I walked around a beer fest on a gorgeous sunlit day. The expansive lawn where the festival took place had a sweeping view of the Bay. Everyone seemed happy. Sunshine, beautiful views, live…
Category: Relationships
Thoughts and Readings on Being in a Healthy Relationship
Flirting with Clown Hats On
I’m bad at flirting. Or maybe I’m good at it, I honestly don’t know. At best, my approach seems to be one in which I try to be funny for my own sake and if the other person likes what I said or wrote, cool. The funny section of my dating profile is the response…
When Absence Makes the Heart Grow Sluggish
The body widens, and people are welcomed
into it, many at a time. This must be
what happens when we learn to be generous
when we’re not in love, or otherwise charmed.
-Stephen Dunn, “The Snowmass Cycle”
Pay Attention to What Now?
Late last night, just before bed, I nearly broke my brain. The tweet from the poet Rasha Abdulhadi read, “Right now, in this moment, you can’t fake where your heart is. Pay attention to that.” Based on other tweets, I believe Abdulhadi was talking about where one’s heart is in relation to current global politics,…
Walking with Your Tribe (Second Edition)
The other day, I read a blog post about the first nice, spring-like day in Paris (this year). The writer chronicled her day which mirrors a lot of my days. She grabbed a chocolate croissant and sat on a green, wooden bench where she watched the pigeons gather at her feet waiting for crumbs. She…
Morass
Despite the profile saying “Still after the dream of long term monogamy” she said she recently broke up with the love of her life and their sex is better than it’s ever been. This was towards the end of our video chat. A chat which she ended in almost business-like fashion by saying something along…
Rain, Couples Therapy, and Growth
It’s a rainy Tuesday morning. The sky is trying to brighten. By noon, it’ll be sunny again. I never thought there could be too much of a good thing – such a glutton am I for good things: eating too many plums until I’m sick, staying out an hour later than I had planned, encores…
Grabbing the Bull by the Horns, or Whatever
Sometimes, at night, before I go to bed, I’ll feel a sense of restless can-do determination towards how I’ll attack the new day (or this old but new life). This usually happens when I’m scrolling through Twitter where I’m reading poems, and reading about writing and magazine acceptances and submissions. This usually happens when I’ve…
F*ckboys, Liars, and MANipulators: A Valentine’s Day Post
Valentine’s Day – that saccharine mid-February reminder to take one day out of the year to splurge on chocolates, a card, some roses, and a candle-lit dinner… Ever since the second grade when that pony-tailed witch with dimples, Jenny Butterworth, gave a Valentine’s Day card to Scott Truesdale and not me (Garfield making lusty googly…
Looking for Shared Enthusiasm
On Sunday, I talked with family and friends (mom and dad and a friend from State College). The common theme across all three conversations was that while it’s only been a few months and I still need to find a job, I love it out here. At times, I’ve wanted to analyze the sensation. I’ve…
Seeking to Go Beyond the Self
Yesterday, I wrote about people who live in the past – or at least that’s what I think I was writing about. The ones who look back to when they were a better version of themself or when “they coulda been a contender.” I think we all have those moments – moments when we felt…
Promise Ring
Moments of mixed emotions can be fertile ground for attempts at self-discovery and understanding – attempts that, for me, often fall short and look like little more than a chasing my tail / running in circles type of tomfoolery. Let the tomfoolery begin… When I was in high school I dated a Catholic school girl…