Above the bar, the paper sign yellowed with age read, “Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.” The quote is from the vaudeville comedian and actor, W.C. Fields. The bar, Specs’, is a well-known haunt in the North Beach part of town. It’s often associated with its beatnik neighbors across…
Category: Dating
In Search of a Good Beginning
Is my attention on loving,
or is my attention on
who isn’t loving me?
-From “Wellness Check” by Andrea Gibson
Sometimes, I have to remind myself to refocus my attention. The fragment from Gibson’s poem helps with that. Sometimes, I have to remind myself to loosen my ego’s grip on…
This Time, Things Will Be Different
When I deleted my account/dating profile in early January and restarted it two or three weeks later, I was looking for a reset. I had told myself, “this time, I’m going to be more deliberate, more intentional.” For over a year, I had let my profile grow cluttered and weedy with likes and connections that…
Dating Sunday
Today, the first Sunday after New Years, has been dubbed by the dating industry “Dating Sunday.” It’s when the various online dating platforms see a surge in sign ups and subscriptions. I’d be lying if I said I’m impervious to the hint of optimism that comes at this time of year and carries with it…
I’m Sure Something Will Turn Up
Four, maybe five, nights ago, and again the following morning, I sat in front of a blank “page” and a blinking cursor. If the screen were blue, this could have been an episode of Doogie Howser, M.D. – except for all that boy genius doctor stuff… and all the other stuff in the show… and…
Cutting Through the Noise, Cutting to the Chase
I feel capable of more. Or maybe I want more. I feel a little stuck. Or maybe lost is the word I’m looking for.
Warning: despite the title, disjointed thinking ahead.
For days (perhaps weeks), I’ve been riding one of my favorite hobby-horses:
Lives and Limitations
On a sun-drenched Saturday, I went to a bbq at a lovely home in Oakland Hills. The back deck had two levels. The bottom level was big enough for three or four dining tables of various sizes and was surrounded by tall redwoods. From the upper level, the view looked westward over parts of Oakland,…
Less Is More
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Interviewee: I think my greatest weakness is honesty.
Interviewer: Hmmm…. you know, I don’t really think of honesty as a weakness.
Interviewee: I don’t give a shit what you think.
Sometimes, maybe often, I’m not very good at putting my best foot forward.
A Cloak of Misery
It wasn’t that he liked being miserable.
He simply had grown used to wearing
a certain face, become comfortable
with his assortment of shrugs and sighs.
“His Music” – Stephen Dunn
It’s been a mixed few days…
Seeking? But Kinda Not Really
“Just because I love it, doesn’t mean it’s going to work.” This was the reminder I wrote for myself one Saturday as I walked around a beer fest on a gorgeous sunlit day. The expansive lawn where the festival took place had a sweeping view of the Bay. Everyone seemed happy. Sunshine, beautiful views, live…
Flirting with Clown Hats On
I’m bad at flirting. Or maybe I’m good at it, I honestly don’t know. At best, my approach seems to be one in which I try to be funny for my own sake and if the other person likes what I said or wrote, cool. The funny section of my dating profile is the response…
When Absence Makes the Heart Grow Sluggish
The body widens, and people are welcomed
into it, many at a time. This must be
what happens when we learn to be generous
when we’re not in love, or otherwise charmed.
-Stephen Dunn, “The Snowmass Cycle”