It wasn’t that he liked being miserable.
He simply had grown used to wearing
a certain face, become comfortable
with his assortment of shrugs and sighs.
“His Music” – Stephen Dunn
It’s been a mixed few days…
Category: Dating
Seeking? But Kinda Not Really
“Just because I love it, doesn’t mean it’s going to work.” This was the reminder I wrote for myself one Saturday as I walked around a beer fest on a gorgeous sunlit day. The expansive lawn where the festival took place had a sweeping view of the Bay. Everyone seemed happy. Sunshine, beautiful views, live…
Flirting with Clown Hats On
I’m bad at flirting. Or maybe I’m good at it, I honestly don’t know. At best, my approach seems to be one in which I try to be funny for my own sake and if the other person likes what I said or wrote, cool. The funny section of my dating profile is the response…
When Absence Makes the Heart Grow Sluggish
The body widens, and people are welcomed
into it, many at a time. This must be
what happens when we learn to be generous
when we’re not in love, or otherwise charmed.
-Stephen Dunn, “The Snowmass Cycle”
Pay Attention to What Now?
Late last night, just before bed, I nearly broke my brain. The tweet from the poet Rasha Abdulhadi read, “Right now, in this moment, you can’t fake where your heart is. Pay attention to that.” Based on other tweets, I believe Abdulhadi was talking about where one’s heart is in relation to current global politics,…
Morass
Despite the profile saying “Still after the dream of long term monogamy” she said she recently broke up with the love of her life and their sex is better than it’s ever been. This was towards the end of our video chat. A chat which she ended in almost business-like fashion by saying something along…
Grabbing the Bull by the Horns, or Whatever
Sometimes, at night, before I go to bed, I’ll feel a sense of restless can-do determination towards how I’ll attack the new day (or this old but new life). This usually happens when I’m scrolling through Twitter where I’m reading poems, and reading about writing and magazine acceptances and submissions. This usually happens when I’ve…
F*ckboys, Liars, and MANipulators: A Valentine’s Day Post
Valentine’s Day – that saccharine mid-February reminder to take one day out of the year to splurge on chocolates, a card, some roses, and a candle-lit dinner… Ever since the second grade when that pony-tailed witch with dimples, Jenny Butterworth, gave a Valentine’s Day card to Scott Truesdale and not me (Garfield making lusty googly…
Looking for Shared Enthusiasm
On Sunday, I talked with family and friends (mom and dad and a friend from State College). The common theme across all three conversations was that while it’s only been a few months and I still need to find a job, I love it out here. At times, I’ve wanted to analyze the sensation. I’ve…
Seeking to Go Beyond the Self
Yesterday, I wrote about people who live in the past – or at least that’s what I think I was writing about. The ones who look back to when they were a better version of themself or when “they coulda been a contender.” I think we all have those moments – moments when we felt…
Looking for Hell Yes
After a while, the math problem no longer makes sense. The numbers blur and it seems unsolvable. At which point, the options seem limited to: push through, wait it out, or walk away. This is how I feel about dating. I can never figure out, much less replicate, why some things worked and others didn’t….
Ethical Monogamy
ENM. I’m not sure what it might stand for in other circles and contexts, but in the context of dating and relationships, it stands for ethically non-monogamous. It’s an umbrella term that describes several non-traditional relationship lifestyles (polyamory, swinging, open relationships, casual sex). There’s some debate over using the word ethical (and probably the word…