I buy the same brand, and size, of “butter” every time. I buy the 45 oz. tub of Country Crock. Two pounds and thirteen ounces. I put butter in quotes because technically it’s a plant-based spread. There isn’t any particular reason I get this brand – it’s just what I’ve done for years. I suppose…
Category: Dear Diary
Swimming Uphill
If anyone wants to know how it’s going, I’m pretty sure I word vomited the phrase “swimming uphill” during a job interview tonight. I’m also pretty sure I may have sounded as coherent as a certain former president when I tried to explain my affinity for the arts (I was interviewing for an arts based…
How the Thoughts Progress
It’s Sunday and I’ve been up since 5:30 am. I didn’t sleep well. I woke up every hour or two throughout the night. When I get up, I make a pot of coffee. I make two waffles. I watch the sky lighten. I write about watching the sky. I read a poem or two. I…
Sunday with the Poets
Yesterday I bought two new books of poetry. That and hanging out at bars are two of my guilty pleasures – especially when I have few other distractions. I say guilty because I could use the money for other things. I say guilty because I could use the time for other things. Not too long…
Two Minutes and Seven Seconds of Meditation
Just now, I tried a five-minute guided meditation. I stopped two minutes and seven seconds into it to write about the less-than-successful attempt. Unlike a lot of people I’ve talked to, I usually don’t have a problem clearing my mind. I suspect that had I sat down, set a timer and just gone at it,…
The Early Hours
“Thank god for TikTok and its endless stream of content. Without it, I would have nothing but time.” -Tano Rubio It’s 4 am. It’s that time of day (night/morning) when one can almost sink into the quiet like deep folds in a blanket – a time when one can almost feel the slow stretch of…
At the Kaleidoscope Bar and Grill
Sometimes, all of the thoughts feel disjointed in a way that almost feels natural and wondrous. It’s as if I’m witness to, and a part of, life’s kaleidoscope. Tonight, I listened to the little devil on my shoulder and went to the bar instead of running and eating at home. Later, I paid for this…
A Sunday of Magical Thinking
The weather is nice. Temperate. My phone says it’s 82 degrees, but I’m sitting in the shade on the back deck in ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and it feels just ducky. I’m drinking a Tangerine Express by Stone Brewing. This was a go-to beer for me at John & Peters, a bar in New…
Wanting More (part 1)
I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life. -Virginia Woolf I was quick to correct my friend when he said something along the lines of “I get it, you’re just not satisfied here. You want something more.” Completely ignoring the “I get it part,” I did a few clarifying…
Still Just a Rat in a Cage
The prompt on the dating profile reads “Two Truths and a Lie.” My response is a set of statements based three different song lyrics – the funny one being “I don’t always say whoomp, but when I do, there it is.” Feeling bored with my profile, I recently changed one of the responses from a…
Tripping Over My Multitudes
All morning… or at least for the first twenty to thirty minutes of it, I’ve had the Ben Folds song, “You Don’t Know Me,” stuck in my head. Self-knowledge and this ridiculous attempt we make to know others is something I frequently explore yet seldom have anything new to contribute. Meh – “the clueless chump…
Limbo Doesn’t Last Forever
Yesterday, I wrote a long and whiny piece about having too many of the “wrong” options for how I spend my time. I was feeling bored and cooped up and I didn’t want to be productive. The cold, gray day didn’t help. Underpinning not wanting to be productive was this emotional shrug that asks, “what’s…