Humor has been missing from my life. I don’t see, read, watch, or hear nearly as many funny things as I used to. I blame, at least in part, the digital environment of our current age and my recent living situations. There was a time, back when I owned a house, when I would read…
Category: Dear Diary
Not Measuring the Moments, Listening to the Happys
There’s a sign that hangs from a crooked chain link fence at a vacant lot on Van Ness. I pass it on my evening walks. In green letters on a washed-out yellow background, it says “LISTEN TO THE HAPPYS”. I think the sign is wooden or metal, though it looks like cardboard. I assume it’s…
Grabbing the Bull by the Horns, or Whatever
Sometimes, at night, before I go to bed, I’ll feel a sense of restless can-do determination towards how I’ll attack the new day (or this old but new life). This usually happens when I’m scrolling through Twitter where I’m reading poems, and reading about writing and magazine acceptances and submissions. This usually happens when I’ve…
Into the Mystery
I tend to think of myself as a mindful skeptic. The universe is big. There are a lot of things we can’t explain. Human knowledge feels pretty small and finite. It’s why I’m an agnostic and not an atheist. I can’t stomach that type of certainty. As a skeptic, I lean towards science and reason…
Soundtracks, Beaches, Beats, and Awe
On Saturday, after lazing around the apartment, I walked to the beach (by the Bay, not the ocean) where I read, wrote, and watched people and dogs and kids at play. I came home, had dinner, and then walked to the Mission District to see the band Too Many Zooz. Walking along that beating artery…
Morning Jazz
The Zebra plant I bought and thought I killed has made a comeback. It’s green leaves glow in the morning sun. The sky is clear and blue and I’ve curled up on the edge of the sofa where the sun is the brightest. I’m listening to an old jazz album, Whims of Chambers. Steam rises…
Bumps in the Road
Yesterday the email came. I wanted to write to you personally… appreciate your interest… competitive applicant pool… My heart sank a bit. On my laptop, I had a few tabs open to other job postings. I wanted to get back on that horse and start applying again. I was chastising myself for letting up on…
Mending and Moral Masochism
The morning sky is bright but gray. The sun tries to peak through the drifting clouds. It’s going to rain (maybe). It’s been raining (maybe). Because of the hills and the ocean and the bay and the mountains, the Bay Area’s weather is predictably unpredictable. Yesterday, as I sat by Crissy Field Beach (the beach…
Shaken, Tumbled, Poured Out, and Stirred
It’s a little before 1am and I’ve just gotten home from the neighborhood bar where my intention was to stop in for one drink. A regular at the bar bought me a drink and then the bartender bought me a drink and well… it’s 1am and I’ve just gotten home from the neighborhood bar. Tonight…
Looking for Shared Enthusiasm
On Sunday, I talked with family and friends (mom and dad and a friend from State College). The common theme across all three conversations was that while it’s only been a few months and I still need to find a job, I love it out here. At times, I’ve wanted to analyze the sensation. I’ve…
Smile Journal
While not intended to be a resolution, I’ve been keeping a smile journal since the beginning of the year. My hope is to deliberately notice those moments when I catch myself smiling at something. There are a fair number of neuroscience and psychology studies that indicate smiling is good for us. For a brief history…
Grumbling to Myself as I Look for the Reset Button
My last few runs have been painful. I’m not sure how to describe the pain – it’s a burning tightness type of pain. I’ve felt a similar pain at the beginning of runs, but that’s usually just my body getting warmed up and stretching out. That pain usually goes away between half-a-mile and a mile…