I think I’ve run out of things to say/write. I can feel myself slipping out of practice (writing). The weather has been fantastic here in Memphis, and so I’ve been spending more time outside. I’ve also started prepping for my move back to Pennsylvania. Today I submitted my change of address form to the post office and cancelled my renter’s insurance. I have to make a list of all the things (mostly bills) that I need to switch over. Very few of these things, other than healthcare, require precise timing. When I get to PA, I know I have a handful of things I need to take care of right away. I’ll need to get tested for COVID – Tennessee is on the quarantine list. I need to register my car and have it inspected (Tennessee doesn’t require car inspections). I need to get new contact lenses, etc. etc. and apparently the house needs a new stove – the current one doesn’t work and can’t be fixed. As things stand now, I’m gonna drive my car and some stuff to PA in a week or two, then fly back down and fully move in mid-October. This would be easier if I felt comfortable driving a truck and towing my car, but 1,000 miles is far, especially solo, and especially on some of the highways. I can see me trying to merge on the 6 lane loop around Nashville and getting sideswiped because I forgot that I had a car in tow. And I think of stupid things like where am I gonna park a truck with a car attached at a roadside motel? It’s all very doable, but requires a bit of planning and some time. The drive is 14 hours and is probably best broken up in to two days. I’m sure I could do it in one day, but why deny myself the chance to visit the Super8 in Florence, KY or Huntington, WV.
Now that things are pretty much in place… I’m in this weird space where I’m almost living in two places (TN and PA) and two times (now and a month from now). I’m already working on building my future in PA, but I’m still physically (and somewhat emotionally) here in Memphis. I was in this same spot almost exactly a year ago. Then, my body (and friends and family) were all in PA, my heart was with my ex-fiancee, and my head and my future were in Memphis. At least this time, I feel like I’m only split in two as opposed to three. But even so… I feel like I need to cram in some fun activities down here before I go and also do some work related to my future life in PA. This might be why I’ve had less time to write (in addition to just wanting to sit at a coffee shop or patio bar and enjoy the sunshine).
I’ll try to get back to being a bit more regular with writing. I started a fiction piece yesterday I only got a paragraph written. The premise is a failed marriage that was doomed from the start. It’s loosely based on the wedding in Maine that may have started a small outbreak of COVID and tangentially caused 8 deaths. I can’t imagine what that couple must feel and be going through (hence the fiction – an attempt to imagine). My friend thought it was a great idea, albeit morbid and depressing. It seems perfect for a short story – though now that I’ve written about it and not written it, I’ve probably screwed myself out of actually writing it. I had a professor that told us don’t talk about your writing, just write.
That was last night. I stopped writing (mid-post) because my friend came over. Sadly, I don’t have a whole lot more to say now that it’s a new day. Nick the cat is under the weather. He usually wakes me up very early in the morning demanding to be fed. This morning, there was no wake up. He was tucked away between some clothing in a closet. He gets this way from time to time – it pretty much ruins my day because I worry about him until he starts to act normal again. I scanned the news – there’s very little good news in the world to report. Memphis is approaching a record for number of homicides in a year. Two nights ago, there was a shooting between two groups of people on Union Ave. about two or three blocks from my place. It sounds like a fight had escalated in the early morning hours. Also in Tennessee, someone hung a bearskin sign at a park entrance that read “Black Lives Don’t Matter” and a Tennessee man has plead not guilty to stabbing his mother 70 times. I need to start clicking on more uplifting news stories so that the google algorithm feeds me better stories. I get Tennessee news (which is mostly Nashville and Memphis news). I get Penn State football news. I get a mix of psychology headlines. Those tend to be the most interesting, but they’re always written the way a click bait headline reads. Today’s selections include: “Anxiety Hampers Learning about Untrustworthy People” “It’s Hard to Keep Trying” “Dear Therapist, I’m Having an Affair and I’ve Never Been Happier. Should I Confess?” and “How to Tell If a New Love Will Turn Out to Be Toxic” among other headlines. I also get some music news…. Joe Bonamassa played to an auditorium full of cardboard cut outs and the Beatles once considered recording Revolver in Memphis. I’m not going to bother commenting on the world news – there was a parade on the campus of Elon University in which people yelled “white power” and doctors worry about a “very apocalyptic fall.” I should probably read that psych article on why it’s hard to keep trying.
While not all of the news is bad, there is enough disconcerting news that people are starting to take days off from reading the news and using social media. I know I’ve fallen in to the trap of doomscrolling through the headlines (in the morning, before bed, at lunch and dinner). I suspect the state of the world has also contributed to my lack of “literary” production or verbosity. Fortunately, I have a few tasks to distract me and some ambitious thoughts about what life might look like in a month or two.