Yesterday I railed against the notion of work. I ended saying if not work, then what. It seems wholly appropriate, perhaps even healthier, to spend time thinking and writing about what makes me happy….
A colleague of mine had asked me how I went about my recent job search. How did I explore my options? If you haven’t read any of the posts (and you probably haven’t, because at the moment, my audience is imaginary…) I’ve recently switched jobs from United Way to The Blues Foundation. I’ve gone from doing something I care deeply about (helping people in financial distress) to raising money for an art form that I really enjoy. I’ve been pretty lucky in finding jobs that align with my happiness and values. There has been a financial cost to these choices – I will never retire early, drive a fancy car, own a big house, or take the extravagant vacations….
Years ago while in grad school learning to be a teacher I was also volunteering in a food pantry when I realized that I loved helping people. I was skipping the paid substitute teaching gigs in order to volunteer on Wednesdays. It made me feel really good to interact with folks, make them smile, and just be nice to them for the sake of being nice. From there, I decided to work in the nonprofit sector. I wanted to work on easing other people’s suffering. I became interested in economic justice because I’ve never had much money and saw lots of people who had even less – none of it felt fair…. I was lucky that work aligned with some of my core values. I do seek out work that doesn’t suck. But I pretty much never see work as being the thing that brings me the most joy.
As I was talking to my colleague, I tried to frame work, and life in general, in the context of happiness. I told her that ever since losing my relationship with my ex-fiancee, B, I’ve been trying to find my way back to the other things in life that make me happy. I recounted the story of a date I had. We had just met online and decided, impulsively, to get together right away to go see a show. We went to see a band (AC Steel). It was a great date. We had a lot of fun. I can remember that as soon as the music started, a smile crossed my face and I was in a different world. That’s the type of happiness I try to focus on. As I was telling my colleague this story, I urged her to think about the four or five things that really made her happy this past year. I urged her to pay attention to what makes her smile. Once you start to tune in to the physical act of smiling, and how you feel inside, you can’t help but think about what makes you happy. On the most visceral level, dogs do this for me. I can’t help but to smile when I see a doggo… tongue out and tail wagging.
I began to list the things that put a smile on my face. My week at the shore with my family makes me happy. I don’t have to care about or do a damn thing. My day at the Bucks County R&B Picnic in July always makes me happy. I’m sure the beer helps, but it’s being outside, listening to music, and just kinda letting go that makes it so awesome – the best one was when it rained and B and I danced in the rain in front of the stage. Seeing dogs makes me smile. When I’m on a walk and see a pooch, I can’t help but to smile. Hiking – doesn’t really make me smile, but brings a sense of peace. Spending time with B made me smile – seeing her do things the way she did them… shopping for clothes, doing the dishes, walking out in the morning to get a cup of coffee – it all made me smile. Hearing live music… The right first notes can just light me up. Sitting at a sidewalk cafe and observing people – again more of a calming thing than a full-blown smile…
What I’ve come to realize is that I’m happiest when I’m disconnected from the stressful world. I’m happiest when I’m not thinking about work or bills or schedules or traffic or what I need to get done. All of this feeds in to some of my anti-work stance. We spend countless hours making ourselves sick with worry over deadlines and projects… which, in the grand scheme of things may not make much of a difference. Imagine how much healthier and happier we would be if we did more of the things that make us smile?