If there’s a theme I’m seeing and feeling this New Year’s it’s to walk into whatever comes next with confidence and wonder. From a poem I saw published today, “isn’t this lilting world shaped as an open door?” and from a poem by Lucille Clifton: “i am running into a new year / and the old years blow back / like a wind” The poem ends with the same refrain, “i am running into a new year / and i beg what i love and / i leave to forgive me.” And from a Neil Gaiman quote shared on Facebook “May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art — write or draw or build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the next year, you surprise yourself.”
This time of year always hits me in the feels. It has just the right mix of reflection and sadness for what has passed balanced by optimism for what may yet come. That mix seems like a good recipe for gratitude. I went back and read my last three New Year’s posts (2019, 2020, 2021) – I still like them. They remind me of my resolutions big and small, my triumphs and failures, my growth and setbacks.
I didn’t do very well on my actual resolutions in 2022. I did not exercise more and I did not get published. I’ll move those two to this year’s list. However, I feel like I discovered a lot and integrated outside influences into my daily life. I bought four original pieces of art this year – they all give me joy. I set out to read more poetry by women and developed an appreciation for Mary Oliver, Jane Kenyon, Ada Limón, Maggie Smith, Diane Seuss, Ellen Bass, and a slew of other poets I had never really read before. This year, I wrote 37 new poems and started drafts or ideas on 52 others – though I’m not sure I’m good at telling the difference between “finished” and “draft.” I discovered a secret little outside music venue this summer. I made several new friends whose time and conversation I’ve found to be a lifeline of sorts – genuinely pleasant people who are curious and fun to be around. I’ve begun to connect with other writers through Twitter, which helped me discover even more writers and journals and magazines. Even tonight on this last day of the year, I came across a new-to-me writer/poet, Andrea Gibson who, from the few things I’ve read, writes with a level of grace and compassion worthy of envy.
As for running into a new year with confidence and wonder… Learning to live without (or with minimal) expectations has helped. I’m hoping I continue to develop as a writer and reader. I’m hoping to get more organized – to figure out how to file all of my little lines that don’t make it into poems (yet). In an effort to stay inspired, I bought several new books today along with a new notebook (I want to start writing longhand again). I’ll probably take a long-ish road trip where I expect to spend time at cafes in different cities with my new notebook observing and writing. I’ll have to land another job at some point and I expect to move – probably California (which appeared this week on “my back pages” for 2019). I would like to get back to some healthier habits – exercise more, drink less. And with the travel and move, I expect to put myself out into the world a bit more – by which I mean be genuinely open to meeting someone new. To that end, I’m hoping to continue to build my capacity for understanding, compassion, patience, and awe.
From Andrea Gibson:
