This morning, my poem “November Sky, Slow Plane Leaving” appeared in Stone Circle Review. Someone on Bluesky shared the poem and wrote, “Good morning to this expansive ache of a poem!” Briefly, the validation made me want to write, or edit, or submit other poems to other journals. Instead, unsure of where or how to start, I stared at my computer screen and checked the smaller, handheld misery machine several times.
This went on for about an hour. I finished one cup of coffee and then a second. The shade of green of the magnolia tree’s leaves is making me think of limes. My posture, slouched on the sofa, is giving me heartburn. I fell asleep here last night, fully clothed. None of this feels coherent, much less the subject of poetry. If I’m not careful, the day will slip away. I have some work to do and a bus to catch (though when I catch it doesn’t really matter).
Today is SantaCon. Thousands of people dress in Santa attire and drink their way through the city. It’s awful. By mid-evening, drunk Santas will be pissing and puking on street corners. While not at the center of the festivities, my neighborhood with it’s dozens of bars and restaurants is where a lot of Santas end their evening. Years ago, a bank was robbed during SantaCon by someone dressed as Santa. There are that many Santas and that much chaos. I need to get the things that I “need to do” (like getting some groceries so that I have dinner) done before the mayhem ensues. Two years ago, my move-in day for my apartment coincided with Santa Con. I didn’t have any food in my place and decided to go out for a bite to eat. My neighborhood was crawling with drunk Santas. A few intersections felt Manhattan crowded and difficult to navigate. Last year during Santa Con, I went to my local bar. They have a bouncer and a sign posted on the door. They don’t let any of the Santas in. It’s a Santa-free safe space. As one of the few Santa-free zones, it gets crowded.
I won’t be getting any writing or editing done. My ego will have me check the poem’s Bluesky post a few times to see if it garners likes and shares.
I should get on with it and inch my way through the day.