It was another gorgeous day here in Memphis – sunsets and all. I managed a three mile run and later close to a six or seven mile walk. The middle part of the day was one that easily slid from reading on the balcony to a short nap on the sofa. I was tired most of the day – had one of my worst nights of sleep in a while last night. I think I was up every hour. I’m not sure I have much in me in terms of writing.
Like many other people, I’m probably spending too much time reading the news and following the pandemic. I seem to have a routine list of things I check. I look at what’s going on here in Tennessee, here in Memphis, and in that city up north, Nashville. I check my hometowns, Philly and Bucks County and where my brother lives in Montgomery County, PA. I check New Mexico, where my ex is, and perhaps as an impractical gesture, I also check where my would have been family is – San Diego. I also follow the national and international trends.
The politics of all of this has me embarrassed to be an American. Every other world leader has shown leadership and compassion, Trump has talked about how poorly he’s being treated and what an amazing job his administration is doing. He has doubled down on his fake news mantra. The world recently had a chance to issue a joint statement from the leading nations and couldn’t do it because America insisted on calling it the Wuhan virus. As the economy grinds to a halt – as life grinds to a halt, we have an unprecedented chance to rebuild in more just and fair way. Sadly, I don’t think we’ll do it. If anything, I suspect this will be a chance for the haves to have a little more with zero down and zero interest. The picture of the smirking white men behind Trump as he signs the bill says it all. Pigs at the trough.
I’d love to see the big companies receiving bailouts have to jump through the hoops that poor people do in order to get welfare or food stamps or any type of assistance. Send the CEO of Boeing to a dimly lit governmental office where he can take a number and wait in some bureaucratic hell for a few hours. I hope that major companies that receive funds have to account for the outcomes the way a nonprofit does when it receives a government grant – show us how every dollar was spent to help employees. If we want to have a trickle down economic policy – let’s make the employers demonstrate how much is actually trickling down. I hope that it’s at least suggested (as it has been for welfare recipients) that executives of bailed out firms and industries be required to complete drug testing. We have a system that puts stringent accountability on the poor and very little on corporations – that needs to change. We can change things as the economy collapses. We can change the rules of the market so that people can’t short sell and profit off of death and loss. It’s estimated that short selling netted over 500 billion in profits during this downturn. There’s something seriously wrong with a system in which the average American gets $1,200 for their hardship while billions are made through the legalized gambling that’s called the market. There’s something wrong with a system in which we talk about billions being made and lost and yet can’t seem to muster the resources for hospital equipment. It’s all very disappointing and very disheartening.
However, the optimists are out there. They are pointing out that families and friends are spending quality time together, they’re reconnecting, they’re learning to appreciate the many things they previously took for granted. There are such things as do-overs. And while it shouldn’t take a crisis to force our hand, sometimes what got us here matters less than the fact that we’ve arrived. I’ve been heading down this winding path of gratitude and ownership and getting clear on the things that matter and have mattered for the better part of a year. I guess when faced with mortality, we all get a little more perspective. While out walking yesterday, I had Michael Kiwanuka’s songs playing on shuffle. I discovered a few I hadn’t listened to very often. “Final Days” was one of those songs:
Final days on the planet
Here we are, on the ground
Every day, automatic
Here we are, goin’ ’round and ’round and ’round
Maybe we can break some of our old patterns. Let’s not be so automatic. Maybe we can stop going ’round and ’round.