This morning I woke up feeling weathered and old. I didn’t even look in the mirror, but I had this vision of myself with a sagging face and storm cloud skin. I felt washed up and hunched over. I felt like someone prematurely aged by booze and cigarettes and a graying heart. I don’t smoke…
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 17, 2022
I bundle up and dress near the edge of the bed – thermal top, winter hat. I feel old and slow – deliberate like a woodsman about to head out for the day – though less certain in the sharpness of my axe. I’m only walking the dog. The world outside is just as cold.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 16, 2022
Yesterday’s sleet is a heavy slush beneath an equally heavy inch or two of snow. The forecast called for rain towards the end. I had hoped the rain would wash some of this away – never came. A single crow in a tall pine mocks me. Progress is slow. Yesterday weighs a ton.
Adjusting the Throttle of Indifference
Indifference…. we sometimes deploy it as a defense mechanism. We sometimes use it as a cudgel. Because it can be used in these ways, it seems important to be able to distinguish between real indifference and manufactured indifference. As a defense mechanism, feigned indifference – saying one doesn’t care – means they can’t be disappointed,…
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 15, 2022
Sleet tic tacs off the deck, the table, the windowpane. The approaching winter storm unleashes the law firm of my primal desires: hunker down, hoard, and gorge. I want a second breakfast – then some soup and hearty bread. Let’s have a drink. Let’s slouch our way through this. Let’s wait it out.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 14, 2022
The dog is too busy sniffing frozen piss at the grassy base of a stop sign to notice the pastel swirls of cotton candy skies. The ground crunches underfoot. It’s frozen hard, and the irony of weather pits these soft tropical hues against a bitter cold that stings our cheeks and noses.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 13, 2022
This is what happens when I don’t do this in the morning. I stare at the screen, unable to latch on to anything. The day has passed by unnoticed – nothing of consequence to remember or describe. I look at the dog. I look at the phone. Fifty-two words that feel miles away.
Another Piece in the Puzzle of Becoming
A journal I’ve heard of through Twitter opened their submissions for a 48-hour window. I had until 11:59 pm on Monday to get something in. This seems to be a thing some journals do – open for brief windows. I don’t know much about the journal other than some writers I’ve followed seem to mention…
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 12, 2022
It’s cold and damp with a thick ceiling of gray. Lost in thought on a morning walk, the weather matches my brain. I can’t decide between past tense or future tense. The present only comes to me in revisions – a statement about writing and life. The ground has been soft for days.
With More Enthusiasm than Skill
Twice I sat down to write about free speech, Twitter, hypocrisy, and whether or not a business should be forced to serve people when doing so would violate their religious or ethical beliefs (current supreme court case). I didn’t get very far in either attempt – a few paragraphs here and there about the state…
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 11, 2022
A light snow falls. Small flakes trickle quick and steady. The snow sticks to the windshields of the cars. Soon it will stick everywhere. Soon it will slick everywhere. Inside, the coffee is still hot. The Christmas cactus continues its pink and white blooms exotic and tropical like orchids in Hawaiian leis.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 10, 2022
The computer screen reflects the window scene behind me – a canvass painted solid blue edge to edge. A leafless tree with spindly branches fills the frame. The top of a pine pokes up checking to see if the coast is clear. For a moment, a squirrel swishes and twitches her bushy tail.