In the nighttime, when the colors of the sky have drained to bluish-black, I find inspiration refuses to sit and have a drink with me – and so I drink alone, scanning the landscape for something, anything to spy and see and maybe put to words. Fifty-two of them. Frozen ground, nothing stirs.
Speculation and Dithering: An Addendum
As soon as I hit publish on my recent post about dithering, I second-guessed how such a post would be interpreted and/or received. This happens a lot when I have concerns about who might read it or what they might think. It happens when I talk about any subject over which I hold multiple and…
Speculative Questions and Dithering Answers
The other day I wrote a long and rambling mess of a post about indifference as a form of accepting uncertainty (Adjusting the Throttle of Indifference). Or at least that’s what I was trying to write about. I was also trying to touch on what it’s like to try to live without expectations and how…
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 26, 2022
The afternoon sun drags a low arc across the southern sky. Behind a veil of clouds, its soft light washes the trees and snow and picture window in antiseptic winter grays and whites. These are the tired days followed by long and slow lamplight nights, heavy boots drying by the mudroom door.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 25, 2022
The dog tears the left antler off the reindeer. A torn seam, a weakness, a type of breach. Animal instinct says find the soft spot – pull everything out. The other antler came next. A hole in the head and soon the plush is gutted. Batting strewn across the floor. A Christmas massacre.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 24, 2022
Freeway traffic rivers quickly towards the city. Cars speed and break, swerve and break, ride close and break. I circle the block not sure if I can fit in that spot or that one. I used to do this every day. Out of practice, I’ve lost my sea legs. I’m less self-assured.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 23, 2022 (day late)
Winter cold, rain, and slush. My race is against the coming freeze. I need to get over the mountain. I have maybe an hour. Before every bridge, a sign I used to ignore: bridge ices before road. I tense a little. I anticipate the slip. At every curve I expect a slide.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 22, 2022
I watch the snow. I watch the snow and think. It seems… without metaphor or simile. It falls. It drifts. It piles up. It blankets. Mostly without comparison to much else – other than more snow. The snow looks soft and feathery like a new down comforter – of snow… but not much else.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 21, 2022
Today, Wednesday, is the winter solstice – the shortest day. The sky burns red in the morning and I’m thinking an apex can also be a middle. On our march towards the equinox, we’re halfway there – keep going, or is it turn around? Did we reverse course? Either way, our light grows longer.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 20, 2022
Newly crumpled into a ball, the receipt crackles as it loosens and settles on the table. I don’t need to get up to throw it away – not right now. But that is where my mind jumps. Untamed, it does anything to dodge the difficult tasks of thinking and writing – concentrating and enduring.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 19, 2022
White snow, slate sky, red shed with black roof. This could be a Christmas card. Maybe paint a cardinal in the leafless shrub, and a wreath on the neighbor’s door. When I see those cards, I don’t wonder if it’s cold in that winter town, or if ice lurks under the snow.
Daily Fifty-Two: Dec. 18, 2022
On the side of the country road, golden light soaks the stubbled fields where summer’s corn grew tall. Red barns and silver silos stand in the distance. Telephone lines and guard rails and double yellow lines fly by. The road ahead rises to meet the tires then recedes in the rear view.