The small, oscillating space heater makes a grinding sound when it changes direction. It’s chilly and dark. 6am and I’m bogged down with a case of the “why bothers?” The why bothers make it difficult to write. Daily practice, which I have forsaken, tends to keep the why bothers at bay. Heavily afflicted, as I…
One Year of Being a San Franciscan
Yesterday marked one year since I became a resident of San Francisco, California. I had been living in a hotel here for a few weeks, but it wasn’t until December 9th when I moved into my apartment that I could officially change my address. To celebrate the occasion, I stayed in and went to bed…
Thanksgiving 2024
Every year since starting this little blog, I’ve written about Thanksgiving. Most of those years, I’ve also written about Christmas. The holidays (even ones like Memorial Day and July 4th) are some of the more stark reminders that in moving away from home four or five years ago, I made a pretty hard departure from…
The Weather I Have Been Under
Gray dawn. Windows streaked with rain. Even though it’s late fall in San Francisco, the atmosphere reminds me of springtime back east. I miss my garden. I miss the March thaw, the April rains, the daffodils, forget-me-nots, and crocuses, the shovel’s thrust, the turning over of thick earth. Here, my seasons are in disarray, my…
Fight, Flight, or Freeze
Ever since the election, I’ve been consumed by following the news – mostly political/cultural/American news. Ever since the election I’ve been wondering, like many Americans, what’s next? How does this play out? How bad could this get? It is a confusing time. I have days when I think the left and the progressives are being…
Ruminations in the Fall
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” – Thich Nhat Hanh It took me the better of the day, Sunday, to realize I had been ruminating. This wasn’t your garden variety kind of brooding – there were no long and…
It’s Been a Year
Just over a year (and eleven or twelve haircuts) ago, I arrived in San Francisco. I had been driving around the country for fifty-three days – visiting cities, bars, cafés, and museums. I drove through all types of weather. I camped for the first time in my life – and then the second and third…
Fall and Its Minor Discontents
Fall weather always hits me in the gut with the bittersweet feels. It’s a time of nesting and settling in and maybe cutting back, but also one that feels full of potential and dusty roads yet to be traveled. It seems to be the time of year when the ghosts from the past dance closest…
Lacking Sleep, I’m Reading Lists
I suppose I’m more of a morning person than a night person. Unless, of course, I haven’t slept well – then I’m not much of a morning person either. Or, if I stay out late – in which case I suppose I’m a night person. For the better part of the past year, I’ve been…
Lots of What I like and Most of What I Need
The other day, my morning started (or kinda started – I was up at 5am) with a run along Marina Green and Crissy Field. The fading, full moon over the Golden Gate Bridge was spectacular. The light in California is different compared to most places I’ve been, and the view was a glorious reminder of…
When Night Feels Like Autumn
The desktop sleep/wake screen was a picture of Monument Valley. I looked it up on a map. I haven’t explored that part of the country. Looking at the map, I was hit with a slight urge to pack my bag and go. I zoomed out on the map. I saw Sedona. I zoomed out further……
Knowledge and Possession
It’s morning – cool and gray. I tried to write a poem about knowing and possessing and the odd calm in almost believing that I know nothing, have known nothing, possess nothing, have possessed nothing. The poem was rubbish and lacked stickiness. Instead, I remembered a first date I had many years ago. It was…