Yesterday marked one year since I became a resident of San Francisco, California. I had been living in a hotel here for a few weeks, but it wasn’t until December 9th when I moved into my apartment that I could officially change my address. To celebrate the occasion, I stayed in and went to bed early.
I’m glad I made the move. I’m glad I took a chance. I have days when I wish I had done it sooner. Had I moved here sooner, I probably could have landed cheaper rent and would certainly be more established in my friendships, routines, and general knowledge. There’s still a lot out here for me to learn and explore. And while I may wish I had made the move back in 2019 (or again in 2020) when I was first applying for jobs on the west coast, I’m appreciative for the journey that got me here. Had I followed a different path, I wouldn’t have made the friendships I made in State College. Had I followed a different path, I don’t think I would have spent two months driving around the country. Additionally, moving here for the sake of being here (as opposed to moving because I had landed a job) feels, somehow, more authentic. Like all relationships, there’s a level of satisfaction and fulfillment when it’s an active, deliberate choice that is renewed and reinforced on a regular basis. At least once a week, I see something, experience something, or talk to someone that/who reminds me of why I chose, and continue to choose, to live here.
I don’t have any grand statements to make about my year in the Bay Area. I’d say that it has exceeded my expectations, but I’m not sure I had expectations… In the “expectations are resentments under construction vein, I’ve been trying to minimize the number of expectations I carry around with me. While my first ten months here were expansive and dedicated to landing a job and getting my bearings (exploring the city and finding things to do), I have since, for better or worse, shrunk back these past few months. I now have days when, at the end of the day, I’m tired and don’t want to think about where to go or what to do. As such, I’m spending more time in my comfort zone (my neighborhood) and paying less attention to what events are happening when and where. Checking out a new bar in a different part of town has given way to frozen pizza and an extended walk around the block. I’m spending a lot less time out in the world (walking around the city, sitting on benches, experiencing people and nature) and more time in my apartment. Work and fewer hours of daylight have necessitated that shift.
As I write this, I can already sense the desire to expand again… to either meet new people or find a few new things to do… to create time and space for other things (day trips, museums, etc.). I’ve been nudging one of my friends to go with me and hang out in different parts of the city. I’ve been nudging myself to shake things up a bit or get back to the basics of recognizing wonder and joy. All in all, it’s been a good year, a fulfilling year, a year of pleasant surprises, beauty, and gratitude. As I settle further into life out here, I’m trying to remind myself to not lose sight of those things.