The clouds are drifting right to left, heavy and gray. Maybe it’s because I can imagine the satellite image from above but they almost look like they’re moving in that great big swirl of a storm that was hurricane Laura. We’re expected to get a good bit of rain from the system, and there’s a small possibility of “short spin-up tornadoes” – as if that makes them cuter or less threatening. It’s been overcast and a little windy most of the day. Aside from a morning run, I’ve stayed in.
At some point today, I think it was while I was in the shower, I was thinking about my last few posts and how I don’t feel like I’ve been demonstrating gratitude. I feel like I’ve been whiny in my shots against capitalism and my lamentations about being unemployed, etc. etc. In that moment, I thought maybe I should try to write more positive posts… maybe I should work on the bright side of life view. And then I spent part of my afternoon doomscrolling through twitter and the news and trying to get moving estimates. It turns out, if one allows it, there’s a lot to be angry about and there’s a lot of frustration in everyday life.
As upsetting as the news of another black person killed by cop has been, I’ve been even more bothered by the new level of vigilante justice that is taking place in this country and how the folks in the Trump administration are trying to somehow paint protesters as violent rioters. Property has been destroyed during some protests, but in some cases (the Autozone in Minnesota) it’s been right-wing provocateurs setting our cities on fire in an effort to undermine the protests. I am really struggling with the fact that a 17 year old showed up to a protest with a rifle, shot and killed people, and the police chief blamed the victims for having violated the curfew. I mean, maybe, just maybe put a little blame on the kid that wants to live out his law and order fantasy of shooting people like he’s in a video game. And we have fox news pundits praising the kid for doing what other people are afraid to do. This country has a sickness. We have a president who has shown clear disregard for the law, who has mocked disabled people, who has joked about sexual assault… and who has encouraged violence against other Americans. I wish we could banish him to a desolate island, or put him in that weird two-dimensional square that floated through space in Superman. He is literally tearing this country apart and profiting off of everything he does. As I sat there reading the news and the awful commentary from hateful people who I still have to call my countrymen, I thought that I really hate this country sometimes. It is full of hatred and greed and violence. It might be beyond the point of redemption. I’m frustrated with how callously we treat each other. I’m disappointed that we’ve come to see each other as the enemy.
Stepping off of my soapbox, I edited a blog post about privacy and online security and then attempted to tackle the unpleasant task of trying to figure out my move to State College. I’ve been putting this off. For one, I don’t really want to or feel like moving – I don’t feel like I got to know Memphis well enough. Also, since learning that I qualify for unemployment, the economics of staying in Memphis have changed. Living rent-free is still the prudent option… or so I thought until I got my first moving quote, but staying would be close to a break even – which isn’t bad. I’ve also been putting this off because the process of getting moving quotes is fairly awful. I tried to get an online quote a few months ago. The site required me to give them my phone number and email. Ever since my request, they have called me anywhere between 2 and 5 time a day and have sent dozens of emails. This would be harassment, but by submitting that I want the quote, I consent to them using robo-callers to bug the crap out of me. I looked at three different moving companies, and they all had the same requirements and policies – give them your number agree to get a ton of calls (though it’s never written that way). I spent ten minutes filling out an online form with how much stuff I had, etc. etc. I clearly stated I prefer to be contacted by email. Within a few minutes of hitting submit, my phone buzzed. I declined. A minute later they texted. A few minutes later, as their final option, they used my preferred method of contact and sent an email quote – a little over $7k to move my stuff from Memphis to State College. It will take me over three months of rent-free living and unemployment to recoup those costs. I could just as easily stay in Memphis for those three months. I went to another moving company. This time, the only form I could fill out was my contact info. Two minutes later a phone call, a voice mail, two texts and an email. I can only get a quote by speaking with them. So much for meeting the customer where they are.
I think I can safely say I will not be paying to move my stuff to State College and then again from State College to my final resting place… er, I mean my next stop. I looked at U-haul and their U-Box option. It looks like I could hire movers to fill the boxes with my stuff – it’ll cost me a few hundred bucks, and then a hundred and some a month for storage… except, as I went through the process of building out my quote, there is no real mention of the storage – it just goes somewhere? Maybe they’ll share details after I click the checkout and pay button… but it didn’t give me a lot of confidence. What I imagined happening is that I have these guys load the boxes and the boxes get driven away somewhere and I’m expected to be there to receive them or something? They could do a better job of explaining how it all works. I gave up. Tomorrow is another day.
There’s a hidden cost to owning stuff that goes well beyond the purchase price. I looked around my apartment. I don’t really need much of this stuff. At some point, between storage and moving costs it will be cheaper to buy all new stuff. But there’s still the problem of those things I do want to keep (more than I can fit in my car) and the challenge of getting rid of things like mattresses. I have two pretty nice and quite new ones – that I don’t think I’d be able to sell or dump or… I’ve thought about going the DIY route. Rent a pick up truck and a storage unit, make a few trips. Or maybe renting a u-haul and driving myself like I did last time… but even that cost me close to $2k, and getting a flight from State College during a pandemic might be difficult. This would be so much easier if I had a job lined up and a more permanent place to land.
With that, I should probably do a little less complaining and a little more job hunting. Maybe in a day or two when the remnants of the storm have passed, I’ll have a few more things settled and return to attempts at gratitude.