I recall but can’t locate a quote from Alexis de Tocqueville that both praised and condemned the indomitable American spirit. As I remember it, he was saying that no nation could have conquered as much territory and “tamed” as much wilderness in as short a time as Americans had done. Spreading from coast to coast was both impressive and brutal. Don’t hold me to that attribution (or interpretation) – maybe he never wrote anything like that.
I was thinking about that particular flavor of American can-do-ism and individualism on one of my runs. Specifically, I was thinking about what may prove to be one of my bigger adjustments here on the West Coast: which is to move around with a little less concern for others. Written that way, it sounds awful. It’s not that I want to care less about other people, but I would like to get better at owning (or least being more comfortable with) my own space in the world – literal space.
As I was running, I was trying to piece together a few observations:
1. There are a lot of off-leash dogs in the parks around here and a lot of dogs in general. This can be a little problematic on multi-use trails as people on bikes and people running have to bob and weave around the very unpredictable dogs meandering about. In some spots of the beach, there are so many dogs, it’s as though the owners just turned a public space into their own private dog park. I happen to really like dogs and I smile every time I see them. I pet them when they come up to me, unless I’m running. I also tend to think letting your dog wander off-leash wherever they want to go (especially in crowded public spaces) is inconsiderate of the other people around you. Not everyone likes dogs. Not every dog likes other dogs. Almost all of these dogs are very well behaved, good-natured, and obedient… but still disruptive.
2. Groups of people don’t seem to move over or make way for others. On almost all of the hikes I’ve done, I was the one to step aside off the trail to let others pass. This has happened dozens of times and if I had to guess, fewer than five times have other people stepped aside to let me go first. But worse than that, I come across quite a few groups who will walk four or five across a wide pathway and won’t make room for someone going the other way or for someone coming up behind them and trying to pass. At some points, the path where I run is wide enough for two or three cars to fit side by side (though no cars are allowed) and I’ll struggle to pass a group of five or six people who have taken up the entire width of the path. I want to tell them to keep right, scooch over, be mindful.
3. Quite a few people don’t seem to pay any attention to their surroundings as they’re walking around. They don’t look behind them as they enter new walking/biking/running lanes and when they stop to talk to other people, they don’t move their conversation to the side. I see this in grocery stores too – people taking up an entire aisle as they talk about their kids and the teachers and the PTO.
4. The cyclists seems to be the worst at some of these things. They’re usually pissed off and complaining that cars don’t give them space or respect them, but they tend to treat pedestrians with just as much disrespect. I’ve seen several cyclists blow through stop signs and almost mow down pedestrians (who have the right of way) all because they’re in the groove of their ride. I’m sure if a car were at the stop sign, they might consider stopping, but they don’t do it for people walking. Ironically, the cars here are much better at stopping for pedestrians than the cyclists are.
5. While most of these observations are ones that I’ve made on foot (walking, hiking, and running), I’ve also noticed (and been told by several people) that the drivers in California will just switch lanes (sometimes multiple lanes) very abruptly and without any warning. They’ll go from a dead stop in the left lane to a right turn across two lanes of traffic without signaling or looking. I’ve seen this in LA and here.
I’m aware that these things are all particularly egregious “issues” for me because they violate how I believe the world should work – a belief system based on my overly-sensitive awareness of being an imposition to others. I’m not saying my way is right – if anything, I’m aware of how uncomfortable I am with being in other people’s way, and as such, I’m always surprised at how other people seem to “lack” this level of awareness. They genuinely don’t seem to give a shit if their in your way or how much space they’re taking up. This is different than the New York or Philly bustle – where they make it clear that you should get out of their way but they’ll also get out of your way because everyone seems to be in a hurry.
I know I’m overly accommodating and willing to cede my position so others can pass, willing to shrink myself so as not to be in the way. As I ran the other morning, I intentionally tried to notice how often I checked behind me to make sure I wasn’t about to cut someone off as I passed other people. In those moments, I remembered the few times a co-running girlfriend (who was a native Californian) would get annoyed at me for doing this on our runs. The message seemed to be just keep going and worry about what’s in front of you – otherwise you’re going to get run over. And after a little while, that was what I started to do and think on this particular run. The people behind me can be on the lookout for me, and I simply have to be aware of the people and obstacles in front of me.
Some of these norms have to do with comfort and confidence. If you watch a young child behave in an unfamiliar environment, they tend to be shy at first. They’ll shrink themselves and sometimes hide behind a parent’s leg. As they become more familiar, they expand to take up the space they’re in, and sometimes, they expand to the point that they’re running all over the place. Physical space is partially about comfort but that comfort is often derived from privilege and power.
A few days ago I went on a hike with a woman I had met online. She’s lived here for a number of years. Like me, she’s a Philly-area transplant. We talked about the drivers and driving out here. We talked about the different scenery. We talked about individualism. At one point, we had missed a turn, and she said she prefers to keep moving forward and not backtrack. That statement also fed into my morning run speculation about the spirit of the West Coast, the spirit of the Americans who conquered the interior of this country and kept pressing forward. The spirit of the people who came west seeking gold, then silver, then free love and drugs, then tech. A stake your claim mentality. A prideful march towards progress that churns incessantly forward – sometimes oblivious to the world and wreckage left behind.
Just before going on my run, I read a good article in the Guardian, “‘We will coup whoever we want!’: the unbearable hubris of Musk and the billionaire tech bros.” The Bay Area / Silicon Valley is ground zero for the tech bros whose mantra has been move fast and break things. This way of thinking is the epitome of individualism. It seems that there’s very little thought being put in to what the consequences might be of breaking things… but worse than that, read the mantra on it’s most basic and literal level, and you can see how it sounds like the thinking of a toddler. One of my nephews (who has turned out to be a wonderful guy) was a whirling dervish of destruction and activity when he was a toddler. He quite literally moved fast and broke things. As adults, this is what immature and selfish people do. This is what people so focused on personal achievement and the end result do (be it a tech bro or a cyclist trying to set a new PR). Instead of disrupting systems as a way of improving them, disruption seems to have become the end-goal. Disruption for the sake of disruption. I suspect it’s gotten so bad, that this mode of thinking has become a caricature of itself.
But is this all just an extension of our westward expansion mentality? Can dotted lines be drawn from miners and settlers to tech bros to people out on the jogging path oblivious to the world around them? Are my observations indicative of a “culture?” Is this the social area where I’ll feel most at odds with my new surroundings?
For whatever reason, I lean towards notions of collectivism and community. I tend to think “we” before “me.” I hold the door open for others. I’m usually at the end of the buffet line. I moved here because I believe those concepts of community and service thrive on the West Coast. It’s always been a place that has attracted hippies and artists. It’s always been a place that has embraced eastern philosophy. Politically, it’s liberal with social/communal tendencies. California and the Bay Area have always attracted artists and poetic souls. But it’s also attracted grifters and egomaniacs. By a lot of people outside of California, Californians are seen as being insufferably self-centered and self-absorbed. Places like Nashville and Austin have hated the influx of Californians to their cities. And much like New York, Hollywood and Silicon Valley have this tendency to think of themselves as the center of the world. A few years ago, Trulia, a real-estate related company, conducted a “study” on vanity by examining the cities with the most cosmetic surgery offices and tanning salons per 10,000 households. California cities took the top five spots with San Francisco being number two and LA being number three. Undoubtedly, much of this has to do with money and the entitlement mentality wealth seems to foster.
To be fair, I’ve also come across a lot of people who are very mindful of others. For decades, the West Coast, and California in particular, has been at the forefront of the mindfulness movement. I’ve met a lot of people here who seem authentic and show no hints of being self-centered or narcissistic. What I think will be a challenge for me is to navigate the different norms that exist out here. Norms that relate to physical space, awareness, and entitlement. The challenge will be to find the mindful people who walk among the oblivious. The Bay Area is full of contradictions. While home to hippie places like Height-Ashbury and Berkeley and some very grounded and impoverished areas like the Tenderloin, Mission, and Oakland, the Bay Area is also home to the most billionaires in the world and is second only to New York in terms of the number of centi-millionaires. Wealth inequality is probably more pronounced here than in most places. I suspect that inequality feeds some of the anti-social behavior that I’m witnessing – as may the original go west (strike out on your own, make something of yourself) mentality. The tension between these mindsets (individualism vs. collectivism; wealth vs. equality) seems to also feed some of the creative thinking being done to address these things.