I suppose I’m more of a morning person than a night person. Unless, of course, I haven’t slept well – then I’m not much of a morning person either. Or, if I stay out late – in which case I suppose I’m a night person. For the better part of the past year, I’ve been…
Category: Relationships
Thoughts and Readings on Being in a Healthy Relationship
I’m Sure Something Will Turn Up
Four, maybe five, nights ago, and again the following morning, I sat in front of a blank “page” and a blinking cursor. If the screen were blue, this could have been an episode of Doogie Howser, M.D. – except for all that boy genius doctor stuff… and all the other stuff in the show… and…
Aging in Place
At the breakfast table in the morning dark just before dawn, I read a sweet and slightly sentimental poem. It’s called “Aging in Place” and is about an older man who, upon seeing his wife’s bare shoulder, realizes he still lusts after her the way he did when they were in their 20s. And much…
How It Used to Be
The poem about desire (titled “Desire”) begins, “I remember how it used to be.” I rejected the author’s invitation. I stopped there at the first line. I opened my notebook and wrote, “Do you remember how it used to be?” My own small ode to how we lose desire – the couple that starts “hot…
Cutting Through the Noise, Cutting to the Chase
I feel capable of more. Or maybe I want more. I feel a little stuck. Or maybe lost is the word I’m looking for.
Warning: despite the title, disjointed thinking ahead.
For days (perhaps weeks), I’ve been riding one of my favorite hobby-horses:
Lives and Limitations
On a sun-drenched Saturday, I went to a bbq at a lovely home in Oakland Hills. The back deck had two levels. The bottom level was big enough for three or four dining tables of various sizes and was surrounded by tall redwoods. From the upper level, the view looked westward over parts of Oakland,…
Less Is More
Interviewer: What would you consider to be your greatest weakness?
Interviewee: I think my greatest weakness is honesty.
Interviewer: Hmmm…. you know, I don’t really think of honesty as a weakness.
Interviewee: I don’t give a shit what you think.
Sometimes, maybe often, I’m not very good at putting my best foot forward.
A Cloak of Misery
It wasn’t that he liked being miserable.
He simply had grown used to wearing
a certain face, become comfortable
with his assortment of shrugs and sighs.
“His Music” – Stephen Dunn
It’s been a mixed few days…
Seeking? But Kinda Not Really
“Just because I love it, doesn’t mean it’s going to work.” This was the reminder I wrote for myself one Saturday as I walked around a beer fest on a gorgeous sunlit day. The expansive lawn where the festival took place had a sweeping view of the Bay. Everyone seemed happy. Sunshine, beautiful views, live…
Flirting with Clown Hats On
I’m bad at flirting. Or maybe I’m good at it, I honestly don’t know. At best, my approach seems to be one in which I try to be funny for my own sake and if the other person likes what I said or wrote, cool. The funny section of my dating profile is the response…
When Absence Makes the Heart Grow Sluggish
The body widens, and people are welcomed
into it, many at a time. This must be
what happens when we learn to be generous
when we’re not in love, or otherwise charmed.
-Stephen Dunn, “The Snowmass Cycle”
Pay Attention to What Now?
Late last night, just before bed, I nearly broke my brain. The tweet from the poet Rasha Abdulhadi read, “Right now, in this moment, you can’t fake where your heart is. Pay attention to that.” Based on other tweets, I believe Abdulhadi was talking about where one’s heart is in relation to current global politics,…