I am not a Buddhist. Unless, of course, you accept the notion that suggests we are all Buddhas. I don’t practice meditation – at least not in the traditional sense. I don’t put in the hard work of Zen stillness. I’ve never gone to a retreat. I don’t even do yoga. All of that said,…
Category: Life
The All-New, 2022…
This past Monday I had car trouble. My old-ish car with 180k miles on it nearly stalled in the middle of an intersection. By the afternoon the problem had been fixed (for free because it was related to a recent repair) but in the process of checking things out, another problem was discovered. The shop…
January 6: One Year Later
One year ago, on this day, I paused from my work, put on the television and began watching the news. I was curious to see how the certification of the election would go. Earlier that morning I had seen some news pieces about protesters gathering in Washington. There were pictures of them giving the middle…
The Car, Again: So It Goes
I walked across the strip of grass on the side of the repair shop cursing that I can’t seem to catch a fucking break. Really, this is how 2022 starts? Not more than three or four miles into my morning commute, the car nearly stalled out in the middle of an intersection approaching the highway….
Tiny Victories
Despite the constant laments about not having time for this or that, writing or exercise, or quiet observation, I sometimes have to acknowledge those moments of success when time and I seem to get along. I was up early this morning. I awoke breathing short and fast from a dream in which I drove a…
Flowers In a Hailstorm
I’m not sure how to tie any of this together. Tonight on a group text a friend said he was drinking too much and hated life and was too much of a pussy to end it with a gun in his mouth and hopes his liver gives out. He texted the cry-laughing emoji and wished…
Not Exactly Languishing
It’s New Year’s Eve. The sun has been trying to break through for most of the day – a day that started off gray, damp, and foggy and is now only partly gray and damp (and that’s just my mood… say nothing of the weather). The dog has been following me around from room to…
Languishing
That’s how my friend Mike described my life. He turned to me at the bar after I had been complaining about pretty much everything – the traffic, the cold, the lack of social opportunities, the dog, and what feels like an inability (despite trying pretty hard) to get anything accomplished professionally – and he said,…
Christmas 2021
It’s Christmas morning. I’m back in Philadelphia, but will be driving back to State College in a few hours. It’s another Christmas that doesn’t quite feel like Christmas. I didn’t decorate my place – mostly because I wasn’t going to be there and partially because I figured the dog might pee on the tree if…
Family Gathering(s)
Today, I’m getting together with extended family. I haven’t seen many of them since Christmas of 2018. There was a wedding in 2019 that I skipped. My engagement had just ended, and I couldn’t imagine attending, much less being happy. Then I moved to Memphis. Then the pandemic hit. I’d be lying if I said…
Poetry, Books, and Broccoli
I have a few hundred books. Most of them sit packed away in boxes downstairs in a room I seldom visit. I have a nice bookshelf made from a repurposed door. That’s where the unpacked books stand mostly at attention, snug and shoulder to shoulder: poetry, books on Buddhism or relationships, a few novels and…
Waiting, Patience, Urgency
I probably spend too much time analyzing life: past events, future plans, decisions, relationships, moments in time. I suspect in terms of poetry or creative writing, that habit might serve me well, but in terms of… life? it might be a bit stymieing. I also spend too much time flip-flopping on concepts like duality. No…