Sometimes, all of the thoughts feel disjointed in a way that almost feels natural and wondrous. It’s as if I’m witness to, and a part of, life’s kaleidoscope. Tonight, I listened to the little devil on my shoulder and went to the bar instead of running and eating at home. Later, I paid for this…
Category: Life
A Sunday of Magical Thinking
The weather is nice. Temperate. My phone says it’s 82 degrees, but I’m sitting in the shade on the back deck in ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and it feels just ducky. I’m drinking a Tangerine Express by Stone Brewing. This was a go-to beer for me at John & Peters, a bar in New…
Wanting More (part 2)
How we need that security. How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into. -Sylvia Plath Yes, I want more…. I suspect I always have – most of us do….
This, Too, Will Be Forgotten
Today I walked in to town. I bought a few books at the local book shop. I sat in the shade outside of a coffee shop with a large coffee and read. The epigraphs to one of the books I bought (The Years by Annie Ernaux) read: All we have is our history, and itdoes…
Wanting More (part 1)
I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life. -Virginia Woolf I was quick to correct my friend when he said something along the lines of “I get it, you’re just not satisfied here. You want something more.” Completely ignoring the “I get it part,” I did a few clarifying…
Still Just a Rat in a Cage
The prompt on the dating profile reads “Two Truths and a Lie.” My response is a set of statements based three different song lyrics – the funny one being “I don’t always say whoomp, but when I do, there it is.” Feeling bored with my profile, I recently changed one of the responses from a…
Seeking Balance
I hate going through stuff and cleaning out. There are people who get joy from this practice. I’m not one of them. And yet, I find myself in the unenviable position of doing this personally and professionally. Personally, I’ll need to purge for a move. Professionally, I’m getting ready to hand the reins over to…
Saturday Night Phone Dump
It’s a long road winding under the stars type of a Saturday night. I have a glass of Malbec and am listening to slow, wistful, and seductive tunes on the stereo. The playlist is called Stay All Night after a Junior Kimbrough song. When it gets a darker, I’ll turn the lights down and hit…
Tripping Over My Multitudes
All morning… or at least for the first twenty to thirty minutes of it, I’ve had the Ben Folds song, “You Don’t Know Me,” stuck in my head. Self-knowledge and this ridiculous attempt we make to know others is something I frequently explore yet seldom have anything new to contribute. Meh – “the clueless chump…
A Type of Writer’s Block
We humans are, or can be, a miserable lot. The last few abandoned blog posts have all started with complaints about the weather. We had a string of 8 or 9 days where it rained every day – and for a few of those days the temperatures were in the 30s. By contrast, the last…
Driving Towards Dystopia
I try not to spend too much time worrying about the dystopian hell I fear is approaching: recession, mass unemployment, full-on economic collapse. I gave notice at my job just before Thanksgiving. About a week later Open AI released ChatGPT. In the few months since then, AI technology and the “intelligence” part of AI has…
Limbo Doesn’t Last Forever
Yesterday, I wrote a long and whiny piece about having too many of the “wrong” options for how I spend my time. I was feeling bored and cooped up and I didn’t want to be productive. The cold, gray day didn’t help. Underpinning not wanting to be productive was this emotional shrug that asks, “what’s…