A list of things I’ve tried to write about: birthday gratitude, being unconventional, a recent job interview, the new/old brand of toxic masculinity, what I value in life (related to the job interview and also the birthday), an observation from an exchange with a guy who was trying to sell me a new roof. Birthday…
Category: Life
Winging It
On Thursday night I was giving away a few books to some friends. One friend had asked for the book on Cat’s Cradle I had edited. Because he seemed more interested in it as a work that I had created/compiled than as a collection of criticism, I gave him copies of the literary journal I…
More Thoughts About Stuff
I spent the weekend trying to get rid of stuff. I initially thought about selling stuff for beer money, but don’t want to deal with the hassle and should probably drink less beer. I made a trip to the pet shelter and Goodwill, and several trips to the “curb” where I put the garbage. In…
When the Future Was Bright Red, Curvy-Smooth, and Looked Fast
I bought the guitar when I was in high school (or just after). Bright red and electric, it was curvy, smooth, and shiny. It looked fast. My friend was a guitarist – self-taught and quite good. He made playing the guitar look easy. He had a natural gift and pursued it with dogged determination. I…
Two Weeks Gone
It’s been two weeks since I surrendered my dog. I’ve checked the shelter’s website – no takers yet. They renamed him Dumbo which I think is an unfortunate choice. In his bio they say he’s best in a household with teens or older. Naming him after a Disney character seems to send mixed signals about…
Which Way is North
I’m inching ever closer to a departure date – from my job and from State College. That feels like a bold statement given that I don’t have a job, apartment, or moving company lined up. I think I know where I’m going, but even that is a little up in the air. Last week, my…
The Tuesday Night Cantina
I had, for the most part, cut out my Tuesday night bar night. But yesterday, Tuesday, I got some disappointing and unexpected news: a job that I was told I was the clear front-runner for went to someone else. That seemed like a good enough reason to stop for a pint. A guy I hang…
Sleepless Diagnostics
It’s 3:30 am on a Monday. I don’t sleep well on Sunday nights. In fact, I don’t do well with Sundays in general. Often, they give me feeling of heaviness. If I’m lucky, I’ll spend part of my Sunday morning reading or slowly drinking my coffee, but quite often, I get into a mood where…
Surrender
Last week I surrendered my dog to the shelter where I adopted him. It was difficult. It was heartbreaking. I changed my mind about it a dozen times on the ten-minute drive over to the shelter. At times, I briefly imagined some future cartoonish jailbreak… One in which I bust in to the shelter armed…
A River of Contemplation and Comparison
For all of my talk about being present, and nonduality, and trying to understand (and practice) the basic concepts of Buddhism… for all of the podcasts that I listen to about mindfulness and acceptance… I can be pretty bad at putting it into practice. In certain aspects of life, I’m pretty bad at remaining unattached….
He’s a Good Dog
Permanent. That’s the word that stands out. Or was it permanently? I don’t know exactly what words preceded it, surrender, give her up to Paws. Then the woman on the phone said something like bring any toys or blankets or anything to make her feel comfortable. I don’t correct the woman on the phone about…
July 4: The Best Year Yet
It’s July 4. I grilled a burger. I sat on the deck and drank a beer. That’s as close to the traditional July 4 celebration as I got this year. By 9pm, I was tired, bored, and ready for bed. As I get older, I care less and less for this holiday. The fireworks, while…