There was an undertone in my post “commitment, choice, and obligation” that didn’t come through quite the way I wanted it to. In the abandoned paragraphs left crumpled up on a side-street document were concepts and thoughts that might have belonged in that post but I didn’t know how to work them in. At the…
Category: Life
Commitment, Choice, and Obligation
This past Sunday was Father’s Day. I talked on the phone with my stepdad and my dad and then with my daughter for a bit. While none of the calls felt forced, I don’t know that they would have happened were it not for the day. I talk to my mom once a week. I…
A Serious Lust for Shawarma
I came out on the back deck to enjoy the balmy evening temperatures and bird song. It’s almost summer and the warm weather makes me want to sit out and watch the stars, or drive roads long into the night, or have never-ending conversations that while away the dusky hours. I brought out to the…
Pheasants May Be Goats
The timing of the online sighting of my ex (the effects of which I chronicled here) got me wondering. Because our brains look for, or at least my brain does, connections and “coincidences” often where none exist, I was curious to see if our profiles matched up on the same day we had matched up…
Two Minutes and Seven Seconds of Meditation
Just now, I tried a five-minute guided meditation. I stopped two minutes and seven seconds into it to write about the less-than-successful attempt. Unlike a lot of people I’ve talked to, I usually don’t have a problem clearing my mind. I suspect that had I sat down, set a timer and just gone at it,…
The Early Hours
“Thank god for TikTok and its endless stream of content. Without it, I would have nothing but time.” -Tano Rubio It’s 4 am. It’s that time of day (night/morning) when one can almost sink into the quiet like deep folds in a blanket – a time when one can almost feel the slow stretch of…
At the Kaleidoscope Bar and Grill
Sometimes, all of the thoughts feel disjointed in a way that almost feels natural and wondrous. It’s as if I’m witness to, and a part of, life’s kaleidoscope. Tonight, I listened to the little devil on my shoulder and went to the bar instead of running and eating at home. Later, I paid for this…
A Sunday of Magical Thinking
The weather is nice. Temperate. My phone says it’s 82 degrees, but I’m sitting in the shade on the back deck in ripped jeans and a t-shirt, and it feels just ducky. I’m drinking a Tangerine Express by Stone Brewing. This was a go-to beer for me at John & Peters, a bar in New…
Wanting More (part 2)
How we need that security. How we need another soul to cling to, another body to keep us warm. To rest and trust; to give your soul in confidence: I need this, I need someone to pour myself into. -Sylvia Plath Yes, I want more…. I suspect I always have – most of us do….
This, Too, Will Be Forgotten
Today I walked in to town. I bought a few books at the local book shop. I sat in the shade outside of a coffee shop with a large coffee and read. The epigraphs to one of the books I bought (The Years by Annie Ernaux) read: All we have is our history, and itdoes…
Wanting More (part 1)
I have a deeply hidden and inarticulate desire for something beyond the daily life. -Virginia Woolf I was quick to correct my friend when he said something along the lines of “I get it, you’re just not satisfied here. You want something more.” Completely ignoring the “I get it part,” I did a few clarifying…
Still Just a Rat in a Cage
The prompt on the dating profile reads “Two Truths and a Lie.” My response is a set of statements based three different song lyrics – the funny one being “I don’t always say whoomp, but when I do, there it is.” Feeling bored with my profile, I recently changed one of the responses from a…