The nervous energy on a Thursday morning when a storage container is being delivered to the driveway (between 9 and 12) is palpable. I’m all over the place. I sat down at the computer at 5ish. Like most mornings, I wanted to write something. I wanted to try a new-to-me writing technique where I would…
Category: Life
Let the Talkers Talk
On Sunday, I went to an outdoor show with a friend and two of his friends. We drove winding back roads past farms and farming communities. On the way back to town, the sun dipped behind the mountains and cast a soft and beautiful peach and yellow glow. On a weekend overrun with traffic from…
Obsessed with Authenticity
A list of things I’ve tried to write about: birthday gratitude, being unconventional, a recent job interview, the new/old brand of toxic masculinity, what I value in life (related to the job interview and also the birthday), an observation from an exchange with a guy who was trying to sell me a new roof. Birthday…
Winging It
On Thursday night I was giving away a few books to some friends. One friend had asked for the book on Cat’s Cradle I had edited. Because he seemed more interested in it as a work that I had created/compiled than as a collection of criticism, I gave him copies of the literary journal I…
More Thoughts About Stuff
I spent the weekend trying to get rid of stuff. I initially thought about selling stuff for beer money, but don’t want to deal with the hassle and should probably drink less beer. I made a trip to the pet shelter and Goodwill, and several trips to the “curb” where I put the garbage. In…
When the Future Was Bright Red, Curvy-Smooth, and Looked Fast
I bought the guitar when I was in high school (or just after). Bright red and electric, it was curvy, smooth, and shiny. It looked fast. My friend was a guitarist – self-taught and quite good. He made playing the guitar look easy. He had a natural gift and pursued it with dogged determination. I…
Two Weeks Gone
It’s been two weeks since I surrendered my dog. I’ve checked the shelter’s website – no takers yet. They renamed him Dumbo which I think is an unfortunate choice. In his bio they say he’s best in a household with teens or older. Naming him after a Disney character seems to send mixed signals about…
Which Way is North
I’m inching ever closer to a departure date – from my job and from State College. That feels like a bold statement given that I don’t have a job, apartment, or moving company lined up. I think I know where I’m going, but even that is a little up in the air. Last week, my…
The Tuesday Night Cantina
I had, for the most part, cut out my Tuesday night bar night. But yesterday, Tuesday, I got some disappointing and unexpected news: a job that I was told I was the clear front-runner for went to someone else. That seemed like a good enough reason to stop for a pint. A guy I hang…
Sleepless Diagnostics
It’s 3:30 am on a Monday. I don’t sleep well on Sunday nights. In fact, I don’t do well with Sundays in general. Often, they give me feeling of heaviness. If I’m lucky, I’ll spend part of my Sunday morning reading or slowly drinking my coffee, but quite often, I get into a mood where…
Surrender
Last week I surrendered my dog to the shelter where I adopted him. It was difficult. It was heartbreaking. I changed my mind about it a dozen times on the ten-minute drive over to the shelter. At times, I briefly imagined some future cartoonish jailbreak… One in which I bust in to the shelter armed…
A River of Contemplation and Comparison
For all of my talk about being present, and nonduality, and trying to understand (and practice) the basic concepts of Buddhism… for all of the podcasts that I listen to about mindfulness and acceptance… I can be pretty bad at putting it into practice. In certain aspects of life, I’m pretty bad at remaining unattached….