Yesterday was another day in which the list of things that made me smile was as thin as the gruel served in Oliver Twist. It was gray and rainy and by the end of the day it was a struggle to name three things that made me smile: the painting I own of a speckled…
Category: Life
Promise Ring
Moments of mixed emotions can be fertile ground for attempts at self-discovery and understanding – attempts that, for me, often fall short and look like little more than a chasing my tail / running in circles type of tomfoolery. Let the tomfoolery begin… When I was in high school I dated a Catholic school girl…
Just Another Day in the Bay Area
The morning sun peeks through the spaces between the waxy-green leaves of the magnolia tree outside my window. I’ve been reading poetry again – which means I’m feeling contemplative and observant. By 8:30, I’ve already had my breakfast of bacon, eggs, and pancakes. I can no longer decide how I would like to spend my…
Two Poems, a Burglar, an Archeologist, and an Examination that Spun Wildly Out of Control
There are moments when my thinking is either too fast or too multifaceted for me to catch up with it or wrestle it to the ground. In this type of sense-making process, it feels like a masked and comical burglar ran off with my brain in a satchel and I’m giving chase. In those moments,…
Looking for Hell Yes
After a while, the math problem no longer makes sense. The numbers blur and it seems unsolvable. At which point, the options seem limited to: push through, wait it out, or walk away. This is how I feel about dating. I can never figure out, much less replicate, why some things worked and others didn’t….
Morning Brain Dump
When I wake up, I try to remember how I slept. Did I wake up at 2am? 3am? The neighbors, I’m not sure if it was upstairs or next door, took a shower at 11:30pm. I remember that I couldn’t fall asleep. It feels too cold to wear shorts in the apartment this morning. I…
Listening In, Leaning In
I can hear the neighbors above me. Well, one neighbor and someone who I assume is her guest. They’re talking, but I can’t make out what they’re saying – just muffled voices. I was trying to read when they walked in to her apartment. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the neighbor below me. How…
Temporary Gratitude
New Year’s Day was a good day. I opened the blinds to beautiful colors in the sky. After breakfast I sat on the sofa with a cup of coffee and read/wrote. I talked and caught up with my parents. I texted a former colleague to wish her a happy New Year. I bought a book…
A Hell of a Good Year…
Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance. Kurt Vonnegut – Hocus Pocus Patches of light and dark gray marble the morning sky. So begins the last day of 2023. How will tomorrow be different? How will next year be different? What dreams might we…
My Fading Interest in Football
Yesterday morning I went to a bar where I half-ass watched the Penn State football team lose in the Peach Bowl. I used to be an avid Penn State football fan. I was born in State College, and I’ve been going to the games ever since I could walk. The rituals and routines around Penn…
Powering Down
Over the Christmas holiday, I downloaded and played the game Civilization (Civ for short). It’s a turn-based, strategy video game. You play as the ruler of an empire/civilization. You have to discover technologies like the wheel and iron working and space flight. You found cities and build monuments (Stonehenge, the Oracle, Sydney Opera House). The…
Ethical Monogamy
ENM. I’m not sure what it might stand for in other circles and contexts, but in the context of dating and relationships, it stands for ethically non-monogamous. It’s an umbrella term that describes several non-traditional relationship lifestyles (polyamory, swinging, open relationships, casual sex). There’s some debate over using the word ethical (and probably the word…