It’s been a few days since I’ve written anything… I suspect I’ll have more, and possibly longer, breaks. A year ago, I struggled to build a consistent schedule. I was starting a new job, moving from Pennsylvania to Memphis, and just trying to adjust to starting over. I’ve read in a few places that it’s especially important during times of transition to keep up with some routines (like exercise). They, (therapists, doctors, self-help gurus) probably stress the importance of keeping up because they know how hard it is to re-start, and how easy it is to sacrifice things like exercise for all of the other demands on our time. It took me weeks to get in to the habit of writing nearly every day and months to re-establish a workout routine. I think it’s been about a week since I’ve really exercised and three or four days since I’ve written – so begins the slide.
I am trying to go easy on myself with respect to the routines. I only have so many days left here in Memphis and I’m trying to squeeze stuff in. This past weekend, my friend and I made another trip down to Clarksdale. There was an outside, socially distanced, all-day blues concert that we went to. We heard some pretty awesome music and spent the entire day in the sun. We were invited by one of the bands to an after-party jam session out at the shack-up inn, but we were too tired, and a little weary of being in close contact with people…. but by the account of our waitress the next morning, it was fun and they played until 3 in the morning. Perhaps in a different time and under different circumstance we’d have gone. We were pretty torn over not going. Nevertheless, we had a blast during the day and I discovered a few new bands. We also got the chance to talk more with Watermelon Slim – one of the musicians we met on our last trip. He’s a character with a lot of stories. Served in Nam. Drove truck on and off throughout his life. Has a degree in journalism and a master’s in history, and has been playing and making music since the 70s. One of the cool things about Clarksdale is that there’s a good chance you’ll see the musicians hanging around at the cafe the next morning or out jamming somewhere like the shack up late at night. I’ve only been down there twice and already a few people recognized us and said hello. They’re super friendly and make you feel at home.
It’s hard not to contemplate the recent shift in my schedule. I went from having lots of time to myself to having very little time to myself in the span of a few days / weeks. I sometimes wonder if this was the pressure my ex-fiancee felt when she was trying to balance a new job and new relationship and still getting to know the city. While she had said in her dating profile that she took up her own projects, she never really talked about how she spent her time before we met or what those projects were (writing, reading, art,?). I got the impression she didn’t go out much or hang out with friends all that much. I’m thinking of this because I had once written a post (several months ago) in which I was saying I just don’t need alone time… and now I find myself missing some of the alone time I had gotten used to enjoying.
I suspect it will be a little while before I have a new sense of normal. I’m busy trying to learn an entirely new job and community, while also enjoying what time I have left in my current community (and squeeze in the details of a 1,000 mile move). Not to mention there’s a ton of news to follow in a world that seems determined to impose a whole lot of chaos on us. With that, I’ll count having written something (even as mundane as this post) as a small victory against time.