It’s 5:30am on Friday. I’ve already been up for an hour and I have nothing to show for it. I’m about to start my second cup of coffee. The weather app says first light isn’t for another hour. I’m fighting the urge to make lists: grocery, to-do, other things to buy that would make the apartment more “homey.” What I’m really battling is the question, “now what?”
I’m mildly pleased with where I am – by which I mean the things I’ve gotten done, taken care of, the progress I’ve made. I’ve been in San Francisco for just over a month. I have an apartment that’s mostly set up. I’ve registered my car, gotten it inspected, gotten a driver’s license, and have California plates. I’ve switched over my bills and accounts. I’ve applied to a bunch of jobs. I have two job interviews next week and I’m a candidate to start the interview process (pending the results of a written test) for a third. I’ve gotten caught up on Last Week Tonight. I’ve also managed to get back into exercising: running between 10 and 15 miles a week and walking just as many, if not more. It feels like I’ve done a lot in a month. Now what?
Despite doing a lot of things to “settle in” and despite feeling more settled in – I’m not there yet. I know this because I haven’t spent much time reading or writing (aside from these occasional blog posts). I know this because I don’t feel ready to relax when second cup of coffee time rolls around. I know this because I feel too “antsy” to sit down with a book (and I’m talking a slim volume of poetry not War and Peace) or to sit and work on some new poems. There are still some big things I have to do like get healthcare for the new year, continue job searching, and ensure all of my new bills are set up for automatic payments. But it’s the little odds and ends that make me feel like I’m not fully prepared for life out here yet. I should get a throw blanket for the living room (because it was a little chilly at 4:30am). I want to figure out some better lighting options. I need waterproof shoes for the rainy days ahead. Maybe I should install some hooks to hang coats. I probably need a slightly warmer coat – though I’ve been more than fine with the light jacket I have. Some new clothes? A coffee table?
There’s also the social aspect that I’ll eventually need to attend to: finding my spots (coffee shop, bar, favorite pizza/taco/burger places), meeting new people, and making some friends. I’m currently getting my “social” fix by taking a one- to two-mile walk around the neighborhood shortly after dinner. Within a few blocks of my place are lots of restaurants and shops. On any given night, there are plenty of people out dining al fresco, laughing, and having a good time. It’s nice to see. On most nights the walk is a reasonable (and cheaper and healthier) substitute for hanging out at the bar.
I’m done my second cup of coffee. The morning sky is a pale blue with only the slightest wisps of thin pink and mauve clouds. I don’t know how I’m going to spend my day, where I’ll walk or what I’ll see or what small piece of the puzzle I can work on next.