Sunday morning 12/10/23
With the blinds open, morning sun floods my apartment. The place is a mess and it’s gonna take some time to get it sorted, organized, and in comfortable, livable shape. Yesterday, after the movers were done, I spent a lot of time walking around the place, opening boxes, and trying to figure out furniture configurations. I walked from room to room, not knowing where to start. I’m going to need to make a trip to Target or some other housewares store (or several trips). Among the discoveries I made yesterday were that I’ll need a microwave, a vacuum, a broom and dustpan, a large stock pot (I only have one and bolognese requires two), light bulbs, lamp shades, a small dining table, a bookshelf, a dish drying rack (there’s no dishwasher), area rungs, and who knows what else.
Fortunately, there’s no rush on most of these things (except maybe the stock pot if I plan on cooking tonight). I’m a little bummed about the bookshelf, because I thought I brought three with me and it turns out that for one of them, I only brought some of the pieces. In my mad-dash of purging things before leaving Pennsylvania, I must have gotten rid of some of the bookshelf and kept some of it (thinking I had all of it). The problem with this, is that not only do I not have another bookshelf, but I have no good way of getting rid of the pieces that I do have. I don’t think they have bulk pick-up garbage at my place which means I’ll be forced to carry these useless and heavy pieces of particle board with me until the day I die.
Throughout much of the day yesterday, I had this recurring feeling like things were missing. It’s been so long since I packed everything, I couldn’t remember what I had packed, what I tossed, and what I intentionally left at the house in state College. I know I left the vacuum cleaner, the golf clubs, and the folding table. I know I got rid of an old stock pot. Apparently I threw away part of a book shelf, left all the light bulbs, and tossed the lampshades. My thinking at the time was I’ll just buy new stuff when I get there. However, I underestimated just how reticent I’d be to drive around buying new stuff. I hate buying “stuff” and I’m trying to do as little driving as possible. For one, I don’t particularly like city driving – never have. I walked as much as I could in Philly and Memphis (and to a lesser degree in State College and Yardley). Unlike those other places, it’s temperate enough here that walking is really enjoyable. So long as time isn’t a constraint and I don’t need to carry a lot of things, I hope to walk as much as possible. My other hesitation with driving is that I’m unpracticed with the whole garage thing. I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose a mirror or scrape the car backing out of the 30- or 50- or however many foot (and narrow) drive.
After sorting through some stuff and making a mental list of what I’ll need to get, I walked to the grocery store to get light bulbs and some food for this morning’s breakfast. City grocery stores tend to be smaller than the ones in the suburbs. In this particular store, the selection of light bulbs was about half of what I was used to seeing in State College or Yardley. For the one lamp I have, I need the skinny-base bulbs, and they don’t seem to stock them.
The other miscalculation I made was in the timing of all of this. I wasn’t expecting to have to shop for things at the height of the Christmas shopping season. I’m not one to want to spend much time in crowded stores with empty shelves trying to buy “necessities” while everyone else is caught up the consumerism of the season.
Tuesday morning 12/12/23
I’ve finally gotten the apartment into manageable shape. On Sunday afternoon, I drove to Target where I bought a stick vacuum, a microwave, a stock pot (more like a nonstick dutch oven), and some other household items. I was proud of myself for making it out of the garage unscathed, and even more proud of myself for driving up and down the insanely steep hills here. There’s something very unsettling about being at an angle in which you can’t see the ground in front of you.
The shopping experience was not the hell I envisioned it would be. At times it was pleasant. As I exited the elevator, I held it open for two other customers, and they both said what a nice gesture that was, nobody does those types of things. It’s a shame that everyone is in such a hurry that they don’t pause to hold doors for each other. But perhaps more importantly, not being in a hurry myself and taking my time probably made my experience (and mood) better. Yes, the store was crowded. Yes, the lines were long. Yes, the parking lot was busy. But, I intentionally chose not to focus on those things. I chose to smile while cutting carrots (a mantra and practice I picked up from reading Thich Nhat Hanh).
I spent the rest of the day Sunday cooking bolognese, hanging pictures/artwork, and going through boxes. I opened a bottle of wine that I had been saving for a “special occasion” (The Prisoner) and enjoyed my first real home-cooked meal in nearly three months. Granted, I had to eat dinner using two boxes of books as a table, but it was as good as I hoped it would be.
Yesterday (Monday), I did more of the same: hanging artwork, organizing things, opening boxes, putting things away, and doing my first load of laundry. I spent way more time shopping for furniture online than I wanted to. I “needed” (and ordered) a table, a dresser, and a desk. They’ll all be here within a week. None of the pieces I bought “spoke” to me, and nearing age 50, I’ve really wanted to get away from the cheap, crappy furniture that I bought as a college student. I also hate the idea of disposable furniture – I genuinely want to consume fewer things and I’d like my few possessions be meaningful ones. At the same time, I suspect I’ll move a few more times in the next ten years, and I’m currently unemployed. Dropping a few hundred bucks per piece doesn’t make much sense. Things will wobble and drawers will stick – which isn’t all that different from life in general.
Today, I hope to go out to the DMV to get my license taken care of, to register the car, and to get new license plates. Much like the trip to Target, I’m anticipating some sort of hellscape. I’m expecting a bureaucratic nightmare in which I wait in long lines only to find out that I’m missing a piece of paper work or that I can’t prove I own the car or that my online bill doesn’t suffice to prove residency. Years ago I got rid of my printer and tried to go digital on as many things as possible. As such, I don’t always have “paper” copies of things. This sometimes causes challenges for agencies that want/need to photocopy everything. Perhaps I’ll be pleasantly surprised by the experience.
Tonight, I plan to go to an event at United Way. I’ve applied to jobs there in the past, and have been trying to make connections but with no luck. Perhaps an in-person gathering will open some doors. I also need to finish answering a series of questions for a job with the city. I can’t prove that residency was a barrier in the past, but I’ve applied for several jobs with the city over the course of the past year, and only now that I’ve changed my residency to California have I gotten past the initial application.
Very few of these things are exciting or life-affirming, but it feels good to settle in. These past few months on the road have taught me to live a little more simply and have given me a different, perhaps deeper, appreciation for having a home base. I think they’ve helped me become more present with, and adaptable to, current (in-the-moment) circumstances. At the same time, these past few years of not really having my own place and living in a climate (political and weather) that made me unhappy have given me a tremendous sense of appreciation for my current situation. I have nearly everything I need within walking distance of my apartment. On nice days, I can easily go for a run along the Bay, and on nice nights, I go for a walk after dinner. I miss my friends from State College. I miss seeing friends and family back in the Philly area. But something about this feels right, and I’m gonna ride that wave as long as I can.