It’s Friday. Black Friday. I won’t be doing any shopping today. An online ad for a suitcase that unfolds from the inside (or something like that) has made me realize how out of touch I am with the latest trends in suitcases. This is, of course, a metaphor for a lot of things. It aptly describes how I’m feeling this morning: out of touch. Maybe, like the suitcase, I simply need to open up and unpack.
I have to go to the front desk of the hotel and check-out and check back in again. I’ve been renewing my room one week at a time. This one little task gives me just enough anxiety that I don’t feel like doing it. I’ve already done this once. It took them a while to sort things out in their system so that I can stay in the same room. Three different people came in to the lobby to be helped and left because it was taking the front desk so long to make my arrangements. I don’t like being a bother or in the way. I felt like I was a bother and in the way.
I renew my room one week at a time because I’m optimistic that I can find a place to live in the next week. That hasn’t happened yet. I renew at this hotel because it’s easy to navigate the city from here and I like having access to the Marina for runs. I try to stay in the same room because I don’t feel like moving my stuff. Nevertheless, I worry that there’s going to be some problem with the booking or that they won’t be able to keep me in the same room or some other snag. I’d much rather sit here and worry about those things (and write that it’s on my mind) than go to the lobby and get it taken care of.
I feel sluggish in other ways. I’m supposed to meet up with someone for a hike later. I don’t feel like going (as though yesterday’s excursion out of the city was enough for one week). I should go for a run… I don’t feel like doing that either (the temperatures are on the cool side, and I didn’t pack decent cool weather running gear). In these moods, I start to lose of time. This is when I scroll social media. This is when I open and close apps on my phone waiting for something to jolt me awake or steal my attention. The news I’m reading feels like yesterdays news. It’s a holiday weekend and some parts of the world grind to a halt (new apartment listings and job listings among those things). I should get outside. I should renew my room. At the very least, I should put this time to use and read some poems.
Mornings… meh.