It’s 8 am. It’ll be later than that by the time I finish writing this. The plan was to get up early(ish), have some breakfast, walk to the laundromat and do what people do at laundromats, and then go look at a few apartments. I have showings at 10:30am, 1pm, and 2pm. I like to walk as often as I can – it helps me learn the city and keeps me moving (a recently stated goal of mine is to lose a few pounds). The first appointment is about an hour walk from where I’m staying. The other appointments are in that vicinity. I plan to make an afternoon of it.
I was up early enough to make the math work. And then…? And then my concerns about logistics got the best of me (How big are the machines? What if it’s busy? What if washing takes an hour and drying takes two? What if you’re not allowed to use the little laundry pods and have to buy their soap? what if I don’t have enough quarters? What if they only take pre-loaded cards and the card machine isn’t working?). Given enough time, I can come up with some ridiculous scenarios. The truth is, I don’t feel like doing laundry. I’m still in this weird space where that feels like a “waste” of my time, as though I’m still in vacation mode as opposed to I live here and this the shit I have to do mode.
While procrastinating, I lost track of time looking online at other apartments, screwing around on my computer, and re-reading something I had written this past summer (about wanting more out of life – specifically what I think I want from a relationship). It’s not a bad blog post. The reading and screwing around on the computer were stall tactics. Like I said, I don’t feel like doing laundry and now, it’s logistically impossible to do laundry and walk to the 10:30 showing. There’s always tomorrow.
There are a lot of things I’m avoiding doing here. I haven’t driven my car since I got here. I bought a transit pass but have yet to ride any of the busses or the train. I haven’t tried to meet up with anyone or build out my social network. Aside from these updates and a few notes on my phone, I haven’t done very much writing. I’ve done no editing. I’ve ignored all of Duolingo’s requests to spend a few more minutes on my Spanish lessons. To some extent, I’m trying to take things in slowly as though I might not be able to process all of the newness AND do some of the things I might normally do. I know this is me avoiding pushing too hard on getting out of my comfort zone. I’m a find a base of operations and function from there type of person – and for now, my base of operations seems to be my hotel and the neighborhood around it. To some extent, I don’t feel confident or comfortable enough navigating the city with my car (and there’s still the issue of having stuff in my car because, well, I don’t have a place).
All of that said, I’m still walking around excited and open eyed. to some degree, I’m waiting for the newness to wear off – for the drudgery to set in (maybe that’s why I’m avoiding laundry). Yesterday, I went for another run along the marina. In the afternoon, I viewed two other apartments and walked around that neighborhood to see if I could envision myself living there – I could. On my way to the second place, it started to rain. I forgot how slick SF sidewalks can be in the rain, and had the wrong shoes on… After a while, my shoes and socks were soaked (thankfully I had an umbrella). Since I wasn’t going to get any wetter than I already was, I opted to continue to walking around the city and went to the blues bar that I enjoy. Even in the rain, I still had bounce in my step and thought, wow, I really like this place. My ex who had lived here always said I’d like the Bay Area. She had planned on showing me/us around and this seems to be another instance of doing for myself what I had hoped to accomplish with another. It’s early in this process, but I’m glad (so far) that I’m taking this chance. And I can always do laundry tomorrow.