My daughter has started to volunteer, fundraise, and advocate on behalf of the Alzheimer’s Association. It’s a cause she cares about and one that has touched her personally. I’m proud of her for doing this. I’m proud of her for taking those first awkward steps into public speaking. I’m proud of her for sticking with it when she’s bound, at some point, to be disappointed in the results or the limits of her reach. Asking people for money is hard and uncomfortable. Showing that you care about something and asking others to care with you requires vulnerability and risks disappointment.
Having worked for a decade in the nonprofit sector, one of the hardest lessons to learn is that very few people will care about your cause as much as you do. I suppose, on some level, this might be true in any field…. But for many nonprofits, their entire business model is based on mobilizing people to care a little more. It can be a little like saying I love you and getting a shrug in return. Sure, you’ll have those people who support you because you’re you, but when the mission is in your heart, you begin to look for something deeper. Quite often, you’ll encounter silence, apathy, or outright resistance. You’ll hear no more than you’ll hear yes. And you learn to not take it too personally. It can be dispiriting. I don’t think people don’t engage because they’re cold or selfish – or at least not intentionally so. Supporting on a deep level requires time and effort – two things that are in increasingly short supply in our modern world.
I know first-hand the strange mix of emotions that come with trying to reach fundraising goals or event ticket sale goals. There are a lot of “if only…” moments in which you know in your heart that sincerity and authenticity can and should win people over…. Sometimes, it doesn’t. I’ve had to cancel committee meetings that couldn’t get adequate participation. I’ve helped organize community events and fairs that had low turn-out. I’ve also felt the slightly different type of disappointment when attendance is good, but for all the “wrong” reasons – nobody listens to the compelling and informative talk that someone or a team of someones spent hours crafting. No, they’re here because a friend brought them, or for the prizes, or for the booze, or for the networking… and as nonprofit professionals, we learn to take any opening we can get and we’re grateful for any type of support.
Nonprofit work would be easy if effort translated into an equal amount of awareness or dollars or support – it seldom does. For the experienced nonprofit professional (or perhaps the jaded one), we recognize there’s a trade-off and sometimes we get to the point of thinking, “well at least we got something, and that’s a step.” Small victories are our lifeblood. It’s also why we seem to stick together pretty well, and why we latch on to those who really seem to “get it.” The pure of heart moments where giving meets understanding meets commitment and compassion don’t come along often enough and so we ride the waves and cherish the times when they do. I hope my daughter gets her share of those moments. I hope that as she’s out there saying I love you to the world, a few people say I love you back… and that even if they don’t, she recognizes that the answer isn’t to stop saying it. The antidote to indifference is a type of unconditional giving and loving.
I’m proud of my daughter for taking a step into this difficult space. I hope she connects with people who care as much as she does – because they’re the ones who will help motivate her. I know some of the disappointments that lie ahead. And as much as I wish I could shield her from some of those moments, I also know a thing or two about her character. I’m proud of that too.