This morning as I tried to read a few poems while sitting on the balcony having a second cup of coffee, my brain was having none of it. Hopscotch. No, it’s more like double dutch? No… it’s like a triple or even quadruple jump in checkers. Forward right, forward left, backward left. I’d read a line or two, and look at my phone. I’d read a line about a baseball game and not think at all of a baseball game but instead think about the house I looked at online and could easily afford under different circumstances. “If only history didn’t side with survivors, / the puny ones who in times of famine” Last night, and again just now, I was thinking of all of the restaurants here in Memphis that I haven’t gotten around to trying. “Breathing the atmosphere at the end of the century” that’s a nice line… we can’t possibly use that these days, twenty years in to a new century. What have I done in the last twenty years? That’s a brutal question to face on a Saturday morning.
This was how my mind was working this morning. I’d read a line or two or six and be thinking of something entirely different. There’s an artist residency here in Memphis that I was thinking of applying for… I should get going soon – walk to the farmers’ market. It’s gonna rain for days. I hate doing laundry on the weekends – the machines are always in use. I had to put the book down. Can’t read and checker-jump at the same time. That song I heard last night. “There’s a hole in the bucket” Need to remember to give it another listen. I’ll get some bread and some tomatoes, maybe some peaches. The walk will bring a bit more order to the day. I have to write that bio for the therapist’s website. I’m disappointed that the guy designing the site seems to just want to get the job done and cares less about making sure it meets the client’s needs. I’m already thinking about what to do tonight – rushing through my day to another nondescript evening. Dinner with Stacy, maybe. I won’t do the long walk this morning. I like to get to the market before it gets too late. I need to get back on track with exercise. and reading too. and writing. I should go. I finished my coffee a few minutes ago. Maybe later, after the king has jumped back and forth and swept the board clear of pieces, I’ll settle in to a good book. Or maybe a nap.