On Wednesday, I went to an advance screening of the new Brad Pitt movie Heart of the Beast (warning: spoilers below). One of my friends is into film, belongs to a society of sorts, and gets invites to these types of things. When he first asked if I wanted to go he got the name of the movie wrong calling it The Beast Within which is a werewolf movie from 2024. I spent way too much time trying to figure out why he was inviting me to a movie that came out two years go and how to decline the invitation. In his text invite he said, I know you’re not into movies but… and in my response I said, I’m fine with movies, but horror isn’t really my thing. I hate saying no to people – especially when they’re being generous.
The reason he assumed I’m not into movies is that I haven’t gone to a “traditional” movie in a traditional movie theater in twenty-five years. My nonprofit hosted a short film fest in 2014, and this same friend took me to an indie film screening a year ago – I don’t really count those. Before that, the last “commercial” movie I saw in the theaters was Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001). That was half a lifetime ago.
Having not been to a movie in twenty-five years, I wasn’t sure what to expect. It caused a minor bout of anxiety. How does one even behave at a movie, what are the norms? Even at the end of the movie, I was wondering do people clap? Some did, my friend and I did not. I assume the clappers might be the same people who clap when the plane lands.
When I got to the theater, I stood in line and texted my friend that I was in line. Several people stopped by and asked (to no one in particular) what the line was for. The woman in front of me always answered, and she too got the name of the film wrong: free screening, the new Brad Pitt movie, something about a beast. Having a name that everyone seems to flub may not translate into box office success. I suspect that will only be one of the film’s problems at the box office. As I waited for my friend, I started to plan my escape. If he doesn’t show up by the time the line starts moving, I’m going home. I checked the text to make sure I had the date and time correct – I did. I looked around to see if I could see him. Coupled with my desire to bolt, I felt a minor sense of pride for having gotten there early and securing us a spot in line maybe 50 or 100 people back. All of this proved to be nervous worrying over nothing. Our tickets through his film society were for reserved seats in the balcony. We were on the list – no line, no rabble.
I struggled with the movie. There were parts that were thrilling or “action packed” in the “man I hope they make it” sort of way, or “jesus, I can’t believe this is happening to them,” but for the most part, I found it unbelievable (as in unconvincing). Without giving much away, the premise is that after he crashes his small plane, a special forces combat vet and his special forces combat vet dog are lost in the remote Alaskan wilderness and have to travel 58 miles, on foot, to reach the nearest road. It was cliche filled and predictable: grizzled, quiet vet with PTSD (and flashbacks) and that quiet vet gaze who chugs and chews pain pills and grits his teeth through a sequence of increasingly unfathomable and harrowing events. I thought the movie tried too hard to sell the viewers on the sacred bond between man and dog, which, from the very beginning of the film, felt forced and overplayed. There were too many “oh you scamp / come here boy” rough scratch, ruffle fur moments in the opening scenes, and just before the closing credits, the stats about combat dogs made me feel like I had just watched a pro-troop propaganda flick and was about to be pitched a solicitation for a charity supporting combat dogs.
When we left the theater, one of the hosts implored us to spread the word, and asked what we thought. I said, “it was ok.” My friend gave a nervous laugh, though outside agreed with my assessment. It was just ok. After the movie we walked around looking for a place to grab a beer that wasn’t a karaoke bar and debriefed as we walked. I said, “if this is indicative of what Hollywood has to offer, I don’t think I’ve missed much over the last twenty-five years.” We both agreed the plot was thin if not somewhat recycled (generic wilderness survival film, but with a dog) and the bear in the bear scene looked entirely too fake (and of course there’s a bear scene in a movie set in Alaska). I said the pill guzzling bothered me (taking who knows how many pills straight from the bottle the way one swigs a beer) – I kept thinking he’d immediately suffer kidney failure, and of course you know he’s going to run out pills.
Moreover, the number of physical calamities Pitt’s character suffered probably would have caused even the toughest of the tough to black out form pain. Perhaps I’ve watched too many medical dramas, but at every turn I found myself pulled out of the moment by the sheer improbability of what I was watching: he’d be concussed by that, he’d have hypothermia, he’d probably have sepsis, etc. etc. Special training and survival skills might explain his ability to endure, but it could only be an incredible amount of dumb luck that allowed Pitt’s character to survive a heart attack, a plane crash, being tossed against rocks in white water rapids, and an attack from a pack of wolves (which was reminiscent of every battle scene in every kung fu movie in which the hero is grossly outnumbered but manages to vanquish his foes as they attack one by one).
Wanting to know if I’m just a crank who doesn’t like anything, I read some reviews. Most were somewhat positive. The people on reddit all mentioned crying. Being the cold-hearted bastard that I am, I did not cry. Lots of people mentioned the stunning landscape – there are some beautiful shots. And of course everyone talks about the dog as the star of the show. The best summation I came across was from the AP writer Lindsey Bahr, “It never strays far from the formula, but while often predictable, occasionally implausible and sometimes even straight propaganda, it’s an effectively thrilling adventure…”
Even though I was unimpressed, I’ll try not to hold it against an entire industry, and I’ll try to get to at least one more movie in the next twenty-five years.